The Action Mutant…
says life is alright in America, if you are white in America. (yes, a musical reference by TAM!)
Mixed Blood
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
Ummm...Merry Christmas?
The Plot, as it was:
Marília Pêra stars as Rita LaPunta, a Brazilian matriarch of an army of street kids that push her drugs in the Alphabet City neighborhood in Manhattan. Her hold over her only biological son Thiago (Richard Ulacia) is almost incestuous, as she fawns over him & seemingly controls every aspect of his life. That is until the high society girlfriend (Linda Kerridge) of Rita’s German drug supplier (Ulrich Berr) falls for Thiago & wants to experience gang life herself. Couple that with the rival Latino gang that’s working with other forces to bring Rita’s Mateceros down and you have a situation that even a Menudo party couldn’t solve (and Rita loves her some Menudo!).
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
The underrated greatness of Mixed Blood lies not only in its grass roots production style (i.e. there isn’t much production to speak of) but in its sheer audaciousness in looking at the supposed realities of urban life. I say “supposed” because while the film boasts the look of an eye opening expose into urban plight, its really a darkly funny, gangland melodrama in the grand tradition of 70s exploitation fare. It’s a Dickensian nightmare that involves Latin music & crack…and given its writer/director (Paul Morrissey, Andy Warhol’s main director), is probably told by someone on the stuff. How else do you explain the scene where the neighborhood addicts line up on the street & order their drugs as if they were at a cafeteria (“Coke or Heroin?”)? Or where a rival gang member is lured into a sexual tryst (on a mattress in the middle of an alley…classy), only to be run down by a car driven by some Mateceros while on said mattress? Nothing is ever on an even keel in this one, which also includes the acting. One of Morrissey’s trademarks is using amateur actors in his productions and that results here in some interesting performances. Marcelino Rivera (as ex-cop/co-conspirator Hector) goes into profanity laden histrionics seemingly at a moment’s notice, which goes ditto for Angel David as Juan the Bullet. However, the two can’t hold a candle to Ulacia, who’s yelling of EVERY SINGLE LINE in an almost unintelligible manner, reminded me of pro wrestler The Great Khali. Oddly enough (as many message posters have mentioned), the fact that his character is slow in nature is strangely belied by the constant bellowing (“I DON’T LIKE IT!”). The absolute center of the film is Pêra & she gives a show that is deserving of that distinction. As LaPunta, Pêra is charismatic, sensual & all around amazing in taking what could be a one-dimensional coke lord and making her a fully fledged, enigmatic force of nature. Like many villainous characters, she ends up strangely likable despite using her “kids” as her own personal army & her tenuous grab over Thiago. Everyone can empathize with capitalizing on a dream and doing anything to keep that dream a reality (which is probably why a similar film in Scarface has maintained its popularity all of these years). Her performance keeps the film grounded when it seems like it should fly off the rails & gives odd moments (like the scene in the Menudo store) an eerily charming resonance to them. Right up to the final bloodletting, her imbalance between sweet mother figure & ruthless tyrant makes the imbalance the film has between the real and the surreal all the more mesmerizing.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- John Leguizamo is a Macetero during the basketball court beating (in his first film role).
Body Count/Violence: 24. Though it wears its low budget squarely on its sleeve, Mixed Blood manages to be quite visceral when it needs to be. Many a gangbanger is shot down in bloody fashion, as well as being stabbed (both by knife and in the neck via a needle), run down by car, beaten down, thrown off roofs, etc.
Sexuality/Nudity: None.
Language/Dialogue: All of these kids must have been watching Tony Montana before filming began because the F bombs (among other words) are dropped with great frequency.
How bad was it?:
There aren’t many reviews on Mixed Blood as not many people have seen it (6.0 based on 160 votes on IMDB). Viewer feedback skews very wildly, with people either appreciating its exploitive nature or not caring for it. Personally, I think some people weren’t in on the joke.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
AMLF & Sara Films, a French production company, produced Mixed Blood and distributed it through Cinevista. It was released in America on 10/18/85 on a limited basis. No box office or budget records are public.
Film: ***1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ****/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
The Stone Killer
The Action Mutant…
wonders of the possibilities for “Bronson’s Lead Sandwiches” as a franchise.
The Stone Killer
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
You may have noticed two comments that were deleted from my recent review of Instant Justice. Just so no one thinks I’m trying to be a tyrant of some kind, I’ll just say that they were deleted because I didn’t want there to be multiple posts full of inane bickering. However, just to reiterate for that reader in question:
I am not jealous of Michael Pare. That’s laughable because if I was, I’d have to be jealous of the hundreds of other actors that have more name recognition than he does. I thought it was readily apparent in that opening perspective that I was poking fun at critics (which would also mean me) that would chastise Mr. Pare’s steady yet unspectacular career while he was living it up in Amsterdam. Obviously, this dear reader didn’t read the entire article or he would have realized that I was being tongue in cheek. And as for not researching well for these reviews, I believe I do more than my fair share of it to make sure these are entertaining & factual. If I’m not sure of something, I don’t write it. I don’t “make shit up”, so to speak. Sorry to have subjected you fair minded readers to this but sometimes it takes one person to ruin shit for everyone.
The Plot, as it was:
Charles Bronson stars as Lou Torrey, an NYC cop transferred to Los Angeles with a reputation as a reckless force (he shot a teenager who pulled a gun on him during a chase). When an informant (Eddie Firestone) is shot dead in his care, Torrey investigates what prompted the slaying. Torrey eventually uncovers a twisted murder plot in which Don Alberto Vescari (Martin Balsam) plans on taking out the remaining mob bosses in the area through unconventional channels. As expected, Torrey also has to deal with police personnel in nervous Lt. Daniels (Norman Fell!) and a bigoted bungler of a partner named Matthews (Ralph Waite!).
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Cop: “He has a big gun.”
Lou Torrey: “…and a short future.”
With that brief exchange in the opening moments of The Stone Killer, viewers know all too well what to expect. Bronson goes to his second specialty in playing the rogue cop that bends the law to get results. Eastwood did it most memorably almost two years earlier in Dirty Harry & while this effort is lesser, it isn’t entirely disposable. At 95 minutes, TSK is certainly brisk and takes no time at getting to the point. Director Michael Winner (helming a Bronson pic for the 3rd time, after Chato’s Land & The Mechanic) is all brass tacks filmmaking here, showing off the action with no frills & a lean, brutal streak. That description obviously parallels its star as well as Bronson is at his cagey best. He’s at home in this universe, whether he’s cracking dry one liners & laying down hard ass dialogue as only Old Stoneface can. He’s also aided by a pretty solid supporting cast, including the future Mr. Roper, Walter Burke as a nervous drug dealer & Paul Koslo in an off key role of a bisexual trumpet player (acting with a manner similar to his one scene role in The Laughing Policeman). However, what makes this less memorable in the eyes of Bronson-philes is the inclusion of some heavy subjects that aren’t really milked for their full potential. There’s really no rhyme or reason to Ralph Waite’s racist cop being in the film other than providing Bronson with an occasional foil. Aside from a few comments that allow Torrey to respond tolerantly, Waite’s Matthews is just around for occasional comic relief & the whole thing comes off as a wasted opportunity. The whole “Vietnam vet” angle used is another arc that is briefly explored but doesn’t really go beyond being paid lip service. The plot moves all over the place, which is pretty unusual for a Bronson pic and it comes off a bit too ambitious for an hour and a half feature. When the action comes to the forefront, the film moves & moves well, with the finale making for a good set piece to let the corpses start piling up at a fast pace. The audience is left with one of those trademark, ambiguous, 70s endings that either makes sense to you or leaves you saying “That’s it?” There’s nothing wrong with that but its hardly memorable enough of a note to go out on, leaving The Stone Killer to be not much more than a decent time killer for your rainy day plans.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- John Ritter is Officer Mort, the cop that escorts prisoner Gus Lipper (David Moody).
Body Count/Violence: 26. Bronson hands out most of the piping hot lead sandwiches as usual, as well as running a suspect through a store window with his car (the end result of one of the film’s occasional car chases)! The shooting is sometimes bloody & manages to produce some sort of record for stunt dummies used (as this article hilariously points out. Note: Does it surprise anyone that Bronson did a commercial for a product named Mandom?)
Sexuality/Nudity: A brief shot of a topless woman in bed is shown early in the movie. Alfred Langley’s (Koslo) bed partner is shown in his underwear but that’s as far as that goes. Langley dies soon afterwards at the hands of Bronson, which may or may not have been coincidental.
Language/Dialogue: Somewhere between mild & strong, with an inconsistent racial slur or two used.
How bad was it?:
If you’re familiar with the critical response of Bronson’s other vehicles, it won’t surprise you to learn that the reviews here are just as mixed as any other. Ebert described it as “…stylish escapism at breakneck speed” but preceded it with “it’s not much more nor does it mean to be”. Other reviews pretty much had their stars (or thumbs) planted squarely in the middle.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Columbia Pictures released The Stone Killer in America on 8/8/73, almost a full year before Bronson’s star making turn in Death Wish. No box office or budget figures are public. It isn’t available on DVD in the States but it is on British region free DVD here.
Film: **1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
wonders of the possibilities for “Bronson’s Lead Sandwiches” as a franchise.
The Stone Killer
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
You may have noticed two comments that were deleted from my recent review of Instant Justice. Just so no one thinks I’m trying to be a tyrant of some kind, I’ll just say that they were deleted because I didn’t want there to be multiple posts full of inane bickering. However, just to reiterate for that reader in question:
I am not jealous of Michael Pare. That’s laughable because if I was, I’d have to be jealous of the hundreds of other actors that have more name recognition than he does. I thought it was readily apparent in that opening perspective that I was poking fun at critics (which would also mean me) that would chastise Mr. Pare’s steady yet unspectacular career while he was living it up in Amsterdam. Obviously, this dear reader didn’t read the entire article or he would have realized that I was being tongue in cheek. And as for not researching well for these reviews, I believe I do more than my fair share of it to make sure these are entertaining & factual. If I’m not sure of something, I don’t write it. I don’t “make shit up”, so to speak. Sorry to have subjected you fair minded readers to this but sometimes it takes one person to ruin shit for everyone.
The Plot, as it was:
Charles Bronson stars as Lou Torrey, an NYC cop transferred to Los Angeles with a reputation as a reckless force (he shot a teenager who pulled a gun on him during a chase). When an informant (Eddie Firestone) is shot dead in his care, Torrey investigates what prompted the slaying. Torrey eventually uncovers a twisted murder plot in which Don Alberto Vescari (Martin Balsam) plans on taking out the remaining mob bosses in the area through unconventional channels. As expected, Torrey also has to deal with police personnel in nervous Lt. Daniels (Norman Fell!) and a bigoted bungler of a partner named Matthews (Ralph Waite!).
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Cop: “He has a big gun.”
Lou Torrey: “…and a short future.”
With that brief exchange in the opening moments of The Stone Killer, viewers know all too well what to expect. Bronson goes to his second specialty in playing the rogue cop that bends the law to get results. Eastwood did it most memorably almost two years earlier in Dirty Harry & while this effort is lesser, it isn’t entirely disposable. At 95 minutes, TSK is certainly brisk and takes no time at getting to the point. Director Michael Winner (helming a Bronson pic for the 3rd time, after Chato’s Land & The Mechanic) is all brass tacks filmmaking here, showing off the action with no frills & a lean, brutal streak. That description obviously parallels its star as well as Bronson is at his cagey best. He’s at home in this universe, whether he’s cracking dry one liners & laying down hard ass dialogue as only Old Stoneface can. He’s also aided by a pretty solid supporting cast, including the future Mr. Roper, Walter Burke as a nervous drug dealer & Paul Koslo in an off key role of a bisexual trumpet player (acting with a manner similar to his one scene role in The Laughing Policeman). However, what makes this less memorable in the eyes of Bronson-philes is the inclusion of some heavy subjects that aren’t really milked for their full potential. There’s really no rhyme or reason to Ralph Waite’s racist cop being in the film other than providing Bronson with an occasional foil. Aside from a few comments that allow Torrey to respond tolerantly, Waite’s Matthews is just around for occasional comic relief & the whole thing comes off as a wasted opportunity. The whole “Vietnam vet” angle used is another arc that is briefly explored but doesn’t really go beyond being paid lip service. The plot moves all over the place, which is pretty unusual for a Bronson pic and it comes off a bit too ambitious for an hour and a half feature. When the action comes to the forefront, the film moves & moves well, with the finale making for a good set piece to let the corpses start piling up at a fast pace. The audience is left with one of those trademark, ambiguous, 70s endings that either makes sense to you or leaves you saying “That’s it?” There’s nothing wrong with that but its hardly memorable enough of a note to go out on, leaving The Stone Killer to be not much more than a decent time killer for your rainy day plans.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- John Ritter is Officer Mort, the cop that escorts prisoner Gus Lipper (David Moody).
Body Count/Violence: 26. Bronson hands out most of the piping hot lead sandwiches as usual, as well as running a suspect through a store window with his car (the end result of one of the film’s occasional car chases)! The shooting is sometimes bloody & manages to produce some sort of record for stunt dummies used (as this article hilariously points out. Note: Does it surprise anyone that Bronson did a commercial for a product named Mandom?)
Sexuality/Nudity: A brief shot of a topless woman in bed is shown early in the movie. Alfred Langley’s (Koslo) bed partner is shown in his underwear but that’s as far as that goes. Langley dies soon afterwards at the hands of Bronson, which may or may not have been coincidental.
Language/Dialogue: Somewhere between mild & strong, with an inconsistent racial slur or two used.
How bad was it?:
If you’re familiar with the critical response of Bronson’s other vehicles, it won’t surprise you to learn that the reviews here are just as mixed as any other. Ebert described it as “…stylish escapism at breakneck speed” but preceded it with “it’s not much more nor does it mean to be”. Other reviews pretty much had their stars (or thumbs) planted squarely in the middle.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Columbia Pictures released The Stone Killer in America on 8/8/73, almost a full year before Bronson’s star making turn in Death Wish. No box office or budget figures are public. It isn’t available on DVD in the States but it is on British region free DVD here.
Film: **1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Mr. Nice Guy (1997 - Uncut Version)
The Action Mutant…
needs a stuntman for everyday life.
Mr. Nice Guy
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
Once again, another goodie from the unratedjoe file that features my favorite Action star…that uses weapons…but rarely a gun. My favorite to always use a gun is Bronson. Ok, this is just a way for me to get around having to choose between Charlie & the Chan man. I just can’t do it! (Note: This is a review of the 94 minute Hong Kong version, which is 6 minutes longer than the U.S. version)
The Plot, as it was:
Jackie is Jackie (seriously, Chan is the Tony Danza of Hong Kong), a TV show cook who aids news reporter Diana (Gabrielle Fitzpatrick) as she is chased by the mob & street gangs. They all want a tape she shot of a drug deal gone bad, as if there’s ever a drug deal gone good in these things. Of course, her tape gets mixed up with a tape of Jackie’s cooking show & hijinks ensue. You think I overdid the plot synopsis? Three sentences seemed to be a bit much.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Though I seemingly say this with every Chan film I review, the storyline in Mr. Nice Guy is about as razor thin as one can get. Oddly enough, the movie is almost a step-by-step redux of Chan’s American groundbreaker Rumble in the Bronx (complete with annoying ice cream vendor guy & yellow vehicle used for climactic destruction)! The villains are as cutout as can be, the women are around to be “damsels in distress” and Jackie isn’t even a good cook (sorry, that sloppy dicing technique didn’t cut it for me)! There are convenient turns & unintentional laughs (wow, that incriminating video manages to have multiple camera angles…even though it was shot from one spot! Bitchin’ technology!). Any Chan vehicle is mainly memorable for its parts, not the sum of the whole and Mr. Nice Guy is no exception. In fact, those parts make for some of the craziest, most creative sequences of his cinematic career. Coupled with the sure hand of director & long time collaborator Sammo Hung (who has an amusing cameo as an abused bicyclist), Jackie is either fighting thugs in the back of a van in motion or hitmen in the back of a horse drawn carriage. Of course, Jackie is more than willing to let you know he’s in danger of dying several times during the film, whether he’s almost run over by a bulldozer or nearly unmanned by a band saw! Hardcore fans may be disappointed that there’s no climactic fight between their hero & Martial Arts stalwart Richard Norton (playing the over the top villain here) but that’s only a minor quibble amongst quite a few of them. Mr. Nice Guy may not be a classic in the pantheon of Chan but after 90+ minutes of seemingly non stop chase, it’s pretty easy to forget what its not & enjoy what it is.
Body Count/Violence: 6. As mentioned, Mr. Nice Guy is more of a chase film so not too many buy the farm in this one (a few shootings & stabbings, as well as someone being buried alive underneath a pile of gravel). Plenty of brawls with many weapons used, window crashing, car wrecks & explosions make up the bulk of the mayhem.
Sexuality/Nudity: Gabrielle Fitzpatrick…in her underwear…running in slow motion. This might be Sammo Hung’s best directorial moment ever. Well, this and the final fight in The Prodigal Son. They’re pretty close. There’s also a scene of a woman (Judy Green) in a bikini.
Language/Dialogue: Just a few mild profanities, if that.
How bad was it?:
In the States, the reviews were as mixed as ever for any Chan film that came after Bronx. Those that focused merely on the action & sight gags (Roger Ebert, being one of Chan’s frequent champions) maintained positive reviews, while those that looked at the flick’s more weaker aspects (plot, acting, etc.) tended to be less kind to it.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Golden Harvest launched Mr. Nice Guy as a Hong Kong Lunar Year release on 1/31/97. It did the usual spectacular returns that Chan’s movies do there, grossing $45.4 million HK in less than three months time. It went on to do considerably less business when it was released in America by New Line Cinema on 3/20/98, debuting in 6th place behind new competition Primary Colors & Wild Things with $5.3 million. It folded shortly afterwards with a total stateside gross of $12.7 million.
Film: **1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ****1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
needs a stuntman for everyday life.
Mr. Nice Guy
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
Once again, another goodie from the unratedjoe file that features my favorite Action star…that uses weapons…but rarely a gun. My favorite to always use a gun is Bronson. Ok, this is just a way for me to get around having to choose between Charlie & the Chan man. I just can’t do it! (Note: This is a review of the 94 minute Hong Kong version, which is 6 minutes longer than the U.S. version)
The Plot, as it was:
Jackie is Jackie (seriously, Chan is the Tony Danza of Hong Kong), a TV show cook who aids news reporter Diana (Gabrielle Fitzpatrick) as she is chased by the mob & street gangs. They all want a tape she shot of a drug deal gone bad, as if there’s ever a drug deal gone good in these things. Of course, her tape gets mixed up with a tape of Jackie’s cooking show & hijinks ensue. You think I overdid the plot synopsis? Three sentences seemed to be a bit much.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Though I seemingly say this with every Chan film I review, the storyline in Mr. Nice Guy is about as razor thin as one can get. Oddly enough, the movie is almost a step-by-step redux of Chan’s American groundbreaker Rumble in the Bronx (complete with annoying ice cream vendor guy & yellow vehicle used for climactic destruction)! The villains are as cutout as can be, the women are around to be “damsels in distress” and Jackie isn’t even a good cook (sorry, that sloppy dicing technique didn’t cut it for me)! There are convenient turns & unintentional laughs (wow, that incriminating video manages to have multiple camera angles…even though it was shot from one spot! Bitchin’ technology!). Any Chan vehicle is mainly memorable for its parts, not the sum of the whole and Mr. Nice Guy is no exception. In fact, those parts make for some of the craziest, most creative sequences of his cinematic career. Coupled with the sure hand of director & long time collaborator Sammo Hung (who has an amusing cameo as an abused bicyclist), Jackie is either fighting thugs in the back of a van in motion or hitmen in the back of a horse drawn carriage. Of course, Jackie is more than willing to let you know he’s in danger of dying several times during the film, whether he’s almost run over by a bulldozer or nearly unmanned by a band saw! Hardcore fans may be disappointed that there’s no climactic fight between their hero & Martial Arts stalwart Richard Norton (playing the over the top villain here) but that’s only a minor quibble amongst quite a few of them. Mr. Nice Guy may not be a classic in the pantheon of Chan but after 90+ minutes of seemingly non stop chase, it’s pretty easy to forget what its not & enjoy what it is.
Body Count/Violence: 6. As mentioned, Mr. Nice Guy is more of a chase film so not too many buy the farm in this one (a few shootings & stabbings, as well as someone being buried alive underneath a pile of gravel). Plenty of brawls with many weapons used, window crashing, car wrecks & explosions make up the bulk of the mayhem.
Sexuality/Nudity: Gabrielle Fitzpatrick…in her underwear…running in slow motion. This might be Sammo Hung’s best directorial moment ever. Well, this and the final fight in The Prodigal Son. They’re pretty close. There’s also a scene of a woman (Judy Green) in a bikini.
Language/Dialogue: Just a few mild profanities, if that.
How bad was it?:
In the States, the reviews were as mixed as ever for any Chan film that came after Bronx. Those that focused merely on the action & sight gags (Roger Ebert, being one of Chan’s frequent champions) maintained positive reviews, while those that looked at the flick’s more weaker aspects (plot, acting, etc.) tended to be less kind to it.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Golden Harvest launched Mr. Nice Guy as a Hong Kong Lunar Year release on 1/31/97. It did the usual spectacular returns that Chan’s movies do there, grossing $45.4 million HK in less than three months time. It went on to do considerably less business when it was released in America by New Line Cinema on 3/20/98, debuting in 6th place behind new competition Primary Colors & Wild Things with $5.3 million. It folded shortly afterwards with a total stateside gross of $12.7 million.
Film: **1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ****1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
The Laughing Policeman
The Action Mutant…
is waiting for the term “fruiter” to make a comeback.
The Laughing Policeman
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
It’s a bit ironic that my viewing of this film coincided with the release of the latest Gus Van Sant film Milk, with Sean Penn already garnering Oscar buzz by playing the first openly gay politician. Needless to say, the handling of the subject of homosexuals between the release of these two films has varied greatly as time has gone on. And yet California, the free wheeling, hippie cousin that rarely gets invited to the party, recently voted AGAINST gay marriage! C-mon, your frat party attending, annoying, goofball cousin Massachusetts beat you to the punch! Even Da Gubenator thinks your wrong & thinks the “fruity pants” should have their rights as well. Cali, I thought I knew you better! Don’t worry; this is about as political as I will get on here. You know, other than talking about the Russkies & the Cold War and how it can all be settled with one boxing match. HEARTS…ON…FIRE! STRONG…DE…SI…RE! Sorry…reflex.
The Plot, as it was:
Walter Matthau (Charley Varrick, Grumpy Old Men) stars as Sgt. Jake Martin, a San Francisco detective that has discovered his partner Dave Evans (Anthony Costello) dead amongst a bus full of slain patrons. Under the impression that Evans was on vacation, Martin begins to realize that his partner was working on a case that Martin failed to close two years previously. Angry and determined to find the bus shooter & tie up loose ends, Martin is reluctantly paired with Leo Larsen (Bruce Dern), a flippant, laid back Inspector that’s the oil to Martin’s very sour water. The clues lead the two down some very lurid paths within a city that has changed before them.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
There are two brilliant sequences within the first 30 minutes of The Laughing Policeman (based on the 1968 Swedish novel) that are just a marvel to watch. After a gunman has bloodily gunned down nine people on a public bus, the police start to slowly file onto the scene’s aftermath. Bit by bit, every detail is broken down; every angle is batted about to try to make sense of what has happened. The crime scene is busted right down to the removal of the bodies and (finally) the bus itself, with the detectives trying to form some sort of foundation as to why each victim was on the bus & a possible target of the killer’s rage. Later, the detectives are talking over the case while in the morgue, their dialogue overlapping with one of the attendants reading off the bodies’ stats with an unrelenting terseness. If the remainder of TLP was equal to these two parts, it would no doubt be a seminal classic in the genre. And while the rest of the flick is engrossing & entertaining, it does have a few faults. While it’s a given that the film is going to be somewhat dated, the scenes where Lou Gossett Jr. (as Insp. James Larrimore) talks “street” with a black pimp & a militant respectively come off forced & foolish (in comparison to the rest of the tale). Fans of political correctness won’t be pleased at how the subject of homosexuality is handled, as it comes off as some sort of sickness that makes bad people worse & more homicidal and/or outlandish (one of the many jaded views that came about before the late 80s). This leads to another “mad, homosexual serial killer” portrayal and while it’s not as insulting as, say Cruising, it does leave one slightly disappointed to learn there’s no real internal motive to the madness. It does give Martin & Larsen an added layer of characterization, as they have a hard time adjusting to the rapidly progressive lifestyle that is becoming of San Fran (though it’s more taciturn Martin showing his disapproval than the more freewheeling Larsen). Matthau is the usual portrait of glumness, doggedly determined while beaten down at the same time (his character’s moments of isolation come across as some of the movie’s better moments). He doesn’t come off as hard as an Eastwood or Bronson but it is a fine departure from cracking dick jokes at Jack Lemmon (not saying that act wasn’t fun, though). However, Dern manages to steal the film outright with his laconic demeanor & dry inflection toward even the smallest dialogue. He’s seemingly the court jester amongst all of the grim realities set before us and he & Matthau have some great back-and-forths in the “cop/buddy” tradition. Director Stuart Rosenberg (Cool Hand Luke) and cinematographer David M. Walsh (Silver Streak, Johnny Dangerously) capture the allure & seamy underbelly of the city well and the supporting cast (including Anthony Zerbe as the surly police chief) adds to the hard boiled nature of the story. By the end of The Laughing Policeman, you feel like you have been along for the detail and (depending on your tolerance for the “by the book”, no frills portrayal of the police work & un-PC views) it proves to be quite the interesting ride.
Body Count/Violence: 18. While not a thrill-ride a minute as far as Action is concerned, TLP has some fine set pieces that include some gory shooting. A fight or two is accompanied by a decent car chase & a woman jumping out of a window.
Sexuality/Nudity: There’s a shot of a topless stripper, as well as a shot of a topless performance artist whose…very rotund. The subject matter tends to be fairly lurid, tackling homosexuality, S&M, prostitution, etc.
Language/Dialogue: With a few F words, the language gets salty on occasion. Let it be known I would follow Dern around & pay him $5 every time he would call someone a “fruiter”.
How bad was it?:
The reviews regard it generally well but its degrees of greatness vary. Some latter day critics were more turned off by some of the takes on homosexuality or felt it was just too slowly paced as compared to others in the genre (Dirty Harry, The French Connection, etc.)
Did it make the studio’s day?:
No box office or budget records are public for this 20th Century Fox distributed film, which saw its premiere in New York on 12/20/73. Since this was the only noted release date of the film in America, it’s likely it wasn’t very widely distributed in its debut.
Film: ***1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ****/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
is waiting for the term “fruiter” to make a comeback.
The Laughing Policeman
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
It’s a bit ironic that my viewing of this film coincided with the release of the latest Gus Van Sant film Milk, with Sean Penn already garnering Oscar buzz by playing the first openly gay politician. Needless to say, the handling of the subject of homosexuals between the release of these two films has varied greatly as time has gone on. And yet California, the free wheeling, hippie cousin that rarely gets invited to the party, recently voted AGAINST gay marriage! C-mon, your frat party attending, annoying, goofball cousin Massachusetts beat you to the punch! Even Da Gubenator thinks your wrong & thinks the “fruity pants” should have their rights as well. Cali, I thought I knew you better! Don’t worry; this is about as political as I will get on here. You know, other than talking about the Russkies & the Cold War and how it can all be settled with one boxing match. HEARTS…ON…FIRE! STRONG…DE…SI…RE! Sorry…reflex.
The Plot, as it was:
Walter Matthau (Charley Varrick, Grumpy Old Men) stars as Sgt. Jake Martin, a San Francisco detective that has discovered his partner Dave Evans (Anthony Costello) dead amongst a bus full of slain patrons. Under the impression that Evans was on vacation, Martin begins to realize that his partner was working on a case that Martin failed to close two years previously. Angry and determined to find the bus shooter & tie up loose ends, Martin is reluctantly paired with Leo Larsen (Bruce Dern), a flippant, laid back Inspector that’s the oil to Martin’s very sour water. The clues lead the two down some very lurid paths within a city that has changed before them.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
There are two brilliant sequences within the first 30 minutes of The Laughing Policeman (based on the 1968 Swedish novel) that are just a marvel to watch. After a gunman has bloodily gunned down nine people on a public bus, the police start to slowly file onto the scene’s aftermath. Bit by bit, every detail is broken down; every angle is batted about to try to make sense of what has happened. The crime scene is busted right down to the removal of the bodies and (finally) the bus itself, with the detectives trying to form some sort of foundation as to why each victim was on the bus & a possible target of the killer’s rage. Later, the detectives are talking over the case while in the morgue, their dialogue overlapping with one of the attendants reading off the bodies’ stats with an unrelenting terseness. If the remainder of TLP was equal to these two parts, it would no doubt be a seminal classic in the genre. And while the rest of the flick is engrossing & entertaining, it does have a few faults. While it’s a given that the film is going to be somewhat dated, the scenes where Lou Gossett Jr. (as Insp. James Larrimore) talks “street” with a black pimp & a militant respectively come off forced & foolish (in comparison to the rest of the tale). Fans of political correctness won’t be pleased at how the subject of homosexuality is handled, as it comes off as some sort of sickness that makes bad people worse & more homicidal and/or outlandish (one of the many jaded views that came about before the late 80s). This leads to another “mad, homosexual serial killer” portrayal and while it’s not as insulting as, say Cruising, it does leave one slightly disappointed to learn there’s no real internal motive to the madness. It does give Martin & Larsen an added layer of characterization, as they have a hard time adjusting to the rapidly progressive lifestyle that is becoming of San Fran (though it’s more taciturn Martin showing his disapproval than the more freewheeling Larsen). Matthau is the usual portrait of glumness, doggedly determined while beaten down at the same time (his character’s moments of isolation come across as some of the movie’s better moments). He doesn’t come off as hard as an Eastwood or Bronson but it is a fine departure from cracking dick jokes at Jack Lemmon (not saying that act wasn’t fun, though). However, Dern manages to steal the film outright with his laconic demeanor & dry inflection toward even the smallest dialogue. He’s seemingly the court jester amongst all of the grim realities set before us and he & Matthau have some great back-and-forths in the “cop/buddy” tradition. Director Stuart Rosenberg (Cool Hand Luke) and cinematographer David M. Walsh (Silver Streak, Johnny Dangerously) capture the allure & seamy underbelly of the city well and the supporting cast (including Anthony Zerbe as the surly police chief) adds to the hard boiled nature of the story. By the end of The Laughing Policeman, you feel like you have been along for the detail and (depending on your tolerance for the “by the book”, no frills portrayal of the police work & un-PC views) it proves to be quite the interesting ride.
Body Count/Violence: 18. While not a thrill-ride a minute as far as Action is concerned, TLP has some fine set pieces that include some gory shooting. A fight or two is accompanied by a decent car chase & a woman jumping out of a window.
Sexuality/Nudity: There’s a shot of a topless stripper, as well as a shot of a topless performance artist whose…very rotund. The subject matter tends to be fairly lurid, tackling homosexuality, S&M, prostitution, etc.
Language/Dialogue: With a few F words, the language gets salty on occasion. Let it be known I would follow Dern around & pay him $5 every time he would call someone a “fruiter”.
How bad was it?:
The reviews regard it generally well but its degrees of greatness vary. Some latter day critics were more turned off by some of the takes on homosexuality or felt it was just too slowly paced as compared to others in the genre (Dirty Harry, The French Connection, etc.)
Did it make the studio’s day?:
No box office or budget records are public for this 20th Century Fox distributed film, which saw its premiere in New York on 12/20/73. Since this was the only noted release date of the film in America, it’s likely it wasn’t very widely distributed in its debut.
Film: ***1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ****/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Police Story 4: First Strike
The Action Mutant…
says you can’t have any fuckin’ jellybeans!
Police Story 4: First Strike (aka Jackie Chan’s First Strike)
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
I’d like to thank unratedjoe (not me, though it’s an alias I wish I lifted) for this gem that I watched on YouTube (complete with new widescreen setting!). It’s nice seeing a Jackie Chan movie in it’s entirety for a change before Bob Weinstein or some screw gets a hold of it. (Note: The film reviewed here is the 107 minute Hong Kong release of Police Story 4: First Strike, not the 88 minute American release known as Jackie Chan’s First Strike).
The Plot, as it was:
Chan is back as Inspector Chan Ka Kui, a Hong Kong cop recruited to take part in a sting in Ukraine by “the new KGB”. The Russians are trying to bring in Jackson Tsui (Jackson Lau), a spy with a nuclear warhead in his possession that he wants to sell to the highest bidder. When Jackson escapes a sale gone badly, Chan remains on his trail & follows him to Australia. While trying to obtain answers from Tsui’s sister Annie (Annie Wu), Chan finds out he has been doubled crossed by KGB head Gregor (Yuri Petrov), who is really a mobster that’s out for the warhead himself. Jackie Chan v. an imminent threat of nuclear warfare? I know who I’m betting on!
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
I’ll admit that the plots to Jackie Chan movies are like a big basin of weak soup. There are some good bits amongst a whole bunch of stock…stock characters, stock situations, stock dialogue, you name it. The funny thing is in the grand scheme of things, one thing is apparent: no one cares. Chan could star in a shot for shot remake of Die Hard with Keanu Reeves as Hans Gruber and no one would bat an eye because Jackie would provide the whole shebang. Not that there aren’t other good elements in First Strike because it at least resembles a cohesive work instead of a highlight reel (four words: Rumble in the Bronx). The location shooting & scenery are stellar and give the production a touch of class sometimes lacking in Action films (yes, folks…Jackie’s really freezing in the Russian tundra!). And it’s always nice to see Bill Tung pop up in a Chan flick, even if he doesn’t have much more to do than sit at a desk & talk on the phone. Um…Annie Wu is pretty hot. And I got to hear the classic Police Story theme, which was worth seeing the HK version for that alone. Ok, so the “cohesive work” is really a warmed over James Bond script & you’ve seen it 100x before. But, it’s Jackie being Jackie and that works, dammit! As usual, his engaging personality shows through & he isn’t afraid to show ass (a figurative term for being the butt of the joke…and literally too, during an admittedly amusing scene). The comedy is broad as ever, ranging from gags involving koalas & poisonous sea creatures to Jackie trying to navigate on stilts. Every conceivable Action piece is thrown into the soup & that’s the meat of it, with everything from a crazy snowmobile chase to Jackie battling a group of guys with a ladder as his main weapon. You don’t watch for the story; you watch to see Chan make the impossible possible and to walk on water (and both of those happen, too!).
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- Former pro wrestler Nathan Jones plays the bald hitman that chases Jackie through the apartment.
- Oliver Muirhead is listed as Australian Group #10. You may remember Muirhead as Mr. Blithers, the boss at the MVA on that one episode of Married…with Children where Al Bundy has to get his license renewed & has a disgruntled Bud as his instructor. I’ve watched too much TV over my lifetime. Muirhead has been in plenty of other films & TV shows, usually playing snooty butlers.
Body Count/Violence: 34. This is a fair clip for a Jackie Chan film, though the majority is gunned down during the opening mountainside shootout (and ensuing chase) & the Uncle 7 funeral scene. The rest are either stabbed or become fodder for hungry sharks (Annie works at an aquarium. Sharks are there. Jaws-like music will be played & baddies will be eaten). There’s more stuntwork here than there is fighting but the warehouse fight where Jackie uses the ladder is a showstopper for sure.
Sexuality/Nudity: Wu is in a skimpy bikini or two but Jackie doesn’t even have the time to be a playful cad in this one.
Language/Dialogue: One “bastard” and a few other slight obscenities.
How bad was it?:
There’s not much to go by for the HK version but the critical response in America was mixed. Many scribes pointed out the “James Bond” similarities but usually just went with the flow & watched Jackie do what he does best. This was still during (though near the tail end of) his Rumble in the Bronx grace period in the States where the man could do absolutely no wrong.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Police Story 4: First Strike debuted in Hong Kong on 2/10/96 and became the highest grossing Chan film in HK cinema history. The Golden Harvest produced vehicle stayed in HK theaters for almost 2 months & raked in $57.5 million HK. New Line Cinema distributed it in the States in an 88 minute version (different opening credits, cut scenes, dubbed dialogue, etc.) on 1/10/97. It finished 6th in its opening weekend & didn’t exhibit the same staying power that RitB did, finally grossing $15.3 million. No budget figures were made public.
Film: ***/*****
Entertainment value: ****1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
says you can’t have any fuckin’ jellybeans!
Police Story 4: First Strike (aka Jackie Chan’s First Strike)
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
I’d like to thank unratedjoe (not me, though it’s an alias I wish I lifted) for this gem that I watched on YouTube (complete with new widescreen setting!). It’s nice seeing a Jackie Chan movie in it’s entirety for a change before Bob Weinstein or some screw gets a hold of it. (Note: The film reviewed here is the 107 minute Hong Kong release of Police Story 4: First Strike, not the 88 minute American release known as Jackie Chan’s First Strike).
The Plot, as it was:
Chan is back as Inspector Chan Ka Kui, a Hong Kong cop recruited to take part in a sting in Ukraine by “the new KGB”. The Russians are trying to bring in Jackson Tsui (Jackson Lau), a spy with a nuclear warhead in his possession that he wants to sell to the highest bidder. When Jackson escapes a sale gone badly, Chan remains on his trail & follows him to Australia. While trying to obtain answers from Tsui’s sister Annie (Annie Wu), Chan finds out he has been doubled crossed by KGB head Gregor (Yuri Petrov), who is really a mobster that’s out for the warhead himself. Jackie Chan v. an imminent threat of nuclear warfare? I know who I’m betting on!
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
I’ll admit that the plots to Jackie Chan movies are like a big basin of weak soup. There are some good bits amongst a whole bunch of stock…stock characters, stock situations, stock dialogue, you name it. The funny thing is in the grand scheme of things, one thing is apparent: no one cares. Chan could star in a shot for shot remake of Die Hard with Keanu Reeves as Hans Gruber and no one would bat an eye because Jackie would provide the whole shebang. Not that there aren’t other good elements in First Strike because it at least resembles a cohesive work instead of a highlight reel (four words: Rumble in the Bronx). The location shooting & scenery are stellar and give the production a touch of class sometimes lacking in Action films (yes, folks…Jackie’s really freezing in the Russian tundra!). And it’s always nice to see Bill Tung pop up in a Chan flick, even if he doesn’t have much more to do than sit at a desk & talk on the phone. Um…Annie Wu is pretty hot. And I got to hear the classic Police Story theme, which was worth seeing the HK version for that alone. Ok, so the “cohesive work” is really a warmed over James Bond script & you’ve seen it 100x before. But, it’s Jackie being Jackie and that works, dammit! As usual, his engaging personality shows through & he isn’t afraid to show ass (a figurative term for being the butt of the joke…and literally too, during an admittedly amusing scene). The comedy is broad as ever, ranging from gags involving koalas & poisonous sea creatures to Jackie trying to navigate on stilts. Every conceivable Action piece is thrown into the soup & that’s the meat of it, with everything from a crazy snowmobile chase to Jackie battling a group of guys with a ladder as his main weapon. You don’t watch for the story; you watch to see Chan make the impossible possible and to walk on water (and both of those happen, too!).
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- Former pro wrestler Nathan Jones plays the bald hitman that chases Jackie through the apartment.
- Oliver Muirhead is listed as Australian Group #10. You may remember Muirhead as Mr. Blithers, the boss at the MVA on that one episode of Married…with Children where Al Bundy has to get his license renewed & has a disgruntled Bud as his instructor. I’ve watched too much TV over my lifetime. Muirhead has been in plenty of other films & TV shows, usually playing snooty butlers.
Body Count/Violence: 34. This is a fair clip for a Jackie Chan film, though the majority is gunned down during the opening mountainside shootout (and ensuing chase) & the Uncle 7 funeral scene. The rest are either stabbed or become fodder for hungry sharks (Annie works at an aquarium. Sharks are there. Jaws-like music will be played & baddies will be eaten). There’s more stuntwork here than there is fighting but the warehouse fight where Jackie uses the ladder is a showstopper for sure.
Sexuality/Nudity: Wu is in a skimpy bikini or two but Jackie doesn’t even have the time to be a playful cad in this one.
Language/Dialogue: One “bastard” and a few other slight obscenities.
How bad was it?:
There’s not much to go by for the HK version but the critical response in America was mixed. Many scribes pointed out the “James Bond” similarities but usually just went with the flow & watched Jackie do what he does best. This was still during (though near the tail end of) his Rumble in the Bronx grace period in the States where the man could do absolutely no wrong.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Police Story 4: First Strike debuted in Hong Kong on 2/10/96 and became the highest grossing Chan film in HK cinema history. The Golden Harvest produced vehicle stayed in HK theaters for almost 2 months & raked in $57.5 million HK. New Line Cinema distributed it in the States in an 88 minute version (different opening credits, cut scenes, dubbed dialogue, etc.) on 1/10/97. It finished 6th in its opening weekend & didn’t exhibit the same staying power that RitB did, finally grossing $15.3 million. No budget figures were made public.
Film: ***/*****
Entertainment value: ****1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Instant Justice
The Action Mutant…
doesn’t think this movie was sponsored by Carnation.
Instant Justice
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
Here we are with another piece in the filmography of Michael Paré (who, for some reason when I see him, the phrase “beef witted, apple-john” comes to mind. Thank you, Darrell Hammond/Sean Connery). I’m sure it’s funny to muse that the guy was most likely on the verge of stardom after doing Eddie and the Cruisers (which became a cult favorite on cable & video, after a so-so theater run), only to see him delve further into direct-to-video dreck once he hit the 90s & beyond. Then again, he lives in Amsterdam when he’s not making films. You know…the pot capital of the free world. So, while your blogging about his wooden performances & the fact he’s been in both Bloodrayne flicks (Uwe Boll strikes!), remember that he’s probably rolling up a nice one with that money & doesn’t give a shit about being in a Uwe Boll pic. And even if he does care, the pot probably takes some of the edge off.
The Plot, as it was:
Paré stars as Scott Youngblood, a Marine Sergeant that learns that his sister Kim (Lynda Bridges) died in Spain. He soon comes to realize that she was a callgirl for an influential mobster named Silke (Eddie Avoth) & that she was murdered when she realized she was in over her head. Getting no help from a crooked police force, Youngblood teams up with slightly crippled photographer Jake (Peter Crook) & feisty callgirl Virginia (Tawny Kitaen and her insane, 80s hair) to try to avenge his sister’s death…even if it means rebuffing a lucrative promotion. Seriously though, her hair is friggin’ huge. We’re talking football helmet here!
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
True, the Justice in Instant Justice is far from instant, as the movie runs for 101 minutes. However, without that running time, how could it be considered amongst the pantheon of “Big, Dumb & Loud” Action pics of the 80s? In that respect, it certainly fits the second part of that category to a tee. Writer/Director Craig T. Rumar (to whom this film is his only credit) puts together a stock revenge story without a non-cliché bone in its body, starting with Paré as the brawny Action hero. The man can’t put forth a competent emotion, even when he’s only required to yell at people (which he does a lot of). However, that made for about half of the requirements for an 80s Action star (the other: smart ass one liners & lots of them) so he hardly suffers any long lasting damage. Crook provides the sole standout performance as he adds some (intentional) humor as the sidekick & old pro Charles Napier adds some well-needed credibility as a head military officer (he should; he seemingly can play these military guys in his sleep). I wouldn’t know anything about Kitaen’s part, since her hair distracted me every time she showed up. It looked like a muskrat died atop her head and grew a mullet. Add to that shoulder pads that would give Lawrence Taylor envy & you have two of the many laughable elements that keep this from being boring at least. I would have thought Youngblood outrunning a speeding car or Jake being fairly agile for a dude with a cane would have done me in but even those elements can’t compare to the relationship between Youngblood & Virginia. You know the type by now: at each others throats one minute, caressing in the shower the next without much of a transitioning point. It’s been done before (and better) but Instant Justice provides some brain-dead, good fun for anyone with the right amount of tolerance (or alcohol) for cheesy 80s Action. No, really…I’m surprised her hair didn’t jump off of her head and attack people!
Body Count/Violence: 9. Considering the era, the number is pretty disappointing & the carnage isn’t nearly sufficient enough for a revenge tome. That said, there’s the required shooting, barroom brawling, car crashing, explosions, window crashing, frying pan fu (a la Joe Bob Briggs), glass bottle weaponry, etc. The best death would have to be Youngblood running a mobster (on the hood of a Trans-Am the hero heisted) back first into the front propeller of a bi-plane & leaving a nice, splattered blood spot on the hood.
Sexuality/Nudity: Bridges shows partial nipple in her scene & Tessa Hewitt provides the film’s gratuitous nudity fix, showing every bit of T&A in a photo shoot scene. Kitaen doesn’t get naked in the aforementioned shower scene but I doubt I could have focused on her goods anyway. Really, her hair should have been doing the cartwheels in the “Here I Go Again” video.
Language/Dialogue: A few F-bombs here and there, along with milder obscenities.
How bad was it?:
Not much in the way of reviews but viewer feedback has it as pretty bad & maybe slightly below the standards of the time. And they were just as distracted by Tawny’s hair as I was.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Despite the somewhat name leads, Warner Bros. & Mulloway Limited distributed Instant Justice straight to VHS in America in January of 1987. According to this helpful article, IJ was marketed with Top Gun-style graphics & its star at the forefront. It apparently worked, as the flick went on to sell over 40,000 copies (an impressive number for a direct-to-video release). It has not found a DVD release as of yet so VHS (as low as 75 cents on Amazon, bitches!) is the only way to go for now.
Film: *1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
doesn’t think this movie was sponsored by Carnation.
Instant Justice
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
Here we are with another piece in the filmography of Michael Paré (who, for some reason when I see him, the phrase “beef witted, apple-john” comes to mind. Thank you, Darrell Hammond/Sean Connery). I’m sure it’s funny to muse that the guy was most likely on the verge of stardom after doing Eddie and the Cruisers (which became a cult favorite on cable & video, after a so-so theater run), only to see him delve further into direct-to-video dreck once he hit the 90s & beyond. Then again, he lives in Amsterdam when he’s not making films. You know…the pot capital of the free world. So, while your blogging about his wooden performances & the fact he’s been in both Bloodrayne flicks (Uwe Boll strikes!), remember that he’s probably rolling up a nice one with that money & doesn’t give a shit about being in a Uwe Boll pic. And even if he does care, the pot probably takes some of the edge off.
The Plot, as it was:
Paré stars as Scott Youngblood, a Marine Sergeant that learns that his sister Kim (Lynda Bridges) died in Spain. He soon comes to realize that she was a callgirl for an influential mobster named Silke (Eddie Avoth) & that she was murdered when she realized she was in over her head. Getting no help from a crooked police force, Youngblood teams up with slightly crippled photographer Jake (Peter Crook) & feisty callgirl Virginia (Tawny Kitaen and her insane, 80s hair) to try to avenge his sister’s death…even if it means rebuffing a lucrative promotion. Seriously though, her hair is friggin’ huge. We’re talking football helmet here!
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
True, the Justice in Instant Justice is far from instant, as the movie runs for 101 minutes. However, without that running time, how could it be considered amongst the pantheon of “Big, Dumb & Loud” Action pics of the 80s? In that respect, it certainly fits the second part of that category to a tee. Writer/Director Craig T. Rumar (to whom this film is his only credit) puts together a stock revenge story without a non-cliché bone in its body, starting with Paré as the brawny Action hero. The man can’t put forth a competent emotion, even when he’s only required to yell at people (which he does a lot of). However, that made for about half of the requirements for an 80s Action star (the other: smart ass one liners & lots of them) so he hardly suffers any long lasting damage. Crook provides the sole standout performance as he adds some (intentional) humor as the sidekick & old pro Charles Napier adds some well-needed credibility as a head military officer (he should; he seemingly can play these military guys in his sleep). I wouldn’t know anything about Kitaen’s part, since her hair distracted me every time she showed up. It looked like a muskrat died atop her head and grew a mullet. Add to that shoulder pads that would give Lawrence Taylor envy & you have two of the many laughable elements that keep this from being boring at least. I would have thought Youngblood outrunning a speeding car or Jake being fairly agile for a dude with a cane would have done me in but even those elements can’t compare to the relationship between Youngblood & Virginia. You know the type by now: at each others throats one minute, caressing in the shower the next without much of a transitioning point. It’s been done before (and better) but Instant Justice provides some brain-dead, good fun for anyone with the right amount of tolerance (or alcohol) for cheesy 80s Action. No, really…I’m surprised her hair didn’t jump off of her head and attack people!
Body Count/Violence: 9. Considering the era, the number is pretty disappointing & the carnage isn’t nearly sufficient enough for a revenge tome. That said, there’s the required shooting, barroom brawling, car crashing, explosions, window crashing, frying pan fu (a la Joe Bob Briggs), glass bottle weaponry, etc. The best death would have to be Youngblood running a mobster (on the hood of a Trans-Am the hero heisted) back first into the front propeller of a bi-plane & leaving a nice, splattered blood spot on the hood.
Sexuality/Nudity: Bridges shows partial nipple in her scene & Tessa Hewitt provides the film’s gratuitous nudity fix, showing every bit of T&A in a photo shoot scene. Kitaen doesn’t get naked in the aforementioned shower scene but I doubt I could have focused on her goods anyway. Really, her hair should have been doing the cartwheels in the “Here I Go Again” video.
Language/Dialogue: A few F-bombs here and there, along with milder obscenities.
How bad was it?:
Not much in the way of reviews but viewer feedback has it as pretty bad & maybe slightly below the standards of the time. And they were just as distracted by Tawny’s hair as I was.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Despite the somewhat name leads, Warner Bros. & Mulloway Limited distributed Instant Justice straight to VHS in America in January of 1987. According to this helpful article, IJ was marketed with Top Gun-style graphics & its star at the forefront. It apparently worked, as the flick went on to sell over 40,000 copies (an impressive number for a direct-to-video release). It has not found a DVD release as of yet so VHS (as low as 75 cents on Amazon, bitches!) is the only way to go for now.
Film: *1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
On Deadly Ground
The Action Mutant…
would like to warn you about the dangers…of Vaporlock!
On Deadly Ground
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
Of all of those general questions that spread through any realm of competition, the one that is always the most intriguing is “Where did it all go wrong?” This can be attributed to almost anyone involved in a competitive field but many pundits like to apply the question to certain dynasties. We all like to offer our own opinions on when a certain person or franchise “jumped the shark”, so to speak. Last year’s New England Patriots…Guns ‘n Roses…Mike Tyson; everyone has their takes on where these dominant forces failed. Some are more opinionated (me, I think the Patriots thought the game was a forgone conclusion & upon hearing everyone on ESPN and their mother proclaim the Pats the leaders of the free world, the Giants went out and played the game of a lifetime) and others seem pretty obvious (Axl’s a nutbag perfectionist that seemingly alienates everyone within five feet of him and Tyson’s a combination of too much success coming to a person with a street upbringing & lack of mental faculties). For Steven Seagal, the moment is fairly easy to point out. Warner Brothers wanted the big man to reprise his role of super soldier/cook Casey Ryback for the upcoming sequel to Seagal’s hit Under Siege (the film is Seagal’s biggest starring gross to date, at $83.6 million). Seagal agreed…as long as he got to direct his own effort down the line. Something about fighting a mystical bear, the environment, big oil, etc. I’m sure he had them at “mystical bear”. The WB folk agreed to let Seagal helm his own project…hence, On Deadly Ground. And you thought Patton Oswalt’s mind was boggled by Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (PEOPLE!).
The Plot, as it was:
Seagal portrays Forrest Taft (judging by Seagal’s impending girth, Taft was a descendant of twenty-seventh American President William Howard Taft), a troubleshooter for the Aegis Oil company who finds out some rather unsavory things about his employers. Apparently, his boss Jennings (Michael Caine…really?) knowingly has faulty equipment in his soon-to-be-operating AEGIS-1 oil rig, which will cause a catastrophic oil spill once it malfunctions. Taft’s curmudgeon co-worker Palmer (Richard Hamilton) knows of the company’s secrets…and is soon brutally dispatched by Jennings’ personal killer MacGruder (John C. McGinley). However, Palmer manages to copy the info to a disc before his demise so Taft gets his hands on it (despite the fact the disc doesn’t figure into the story again…trust me, it gets worse). Instead of going to the authorities with the data (remember, EVERYONE’S corrupt, so that option’s out), Taft goes the logical route: he nearly gets killed by Aegis henchmen, discovered by Indians (one of them being Joan Chen, who must be hated by her agent beyond all reproach), goes on a spiritual quest & decides the best cause for action is to murder the baddies & blow the damn oil rig all to shit. If your cranium isn’t spewing blood form your ears at this point, consider yourself one of the lucky ones.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Even though 1994’s Pulp Fiction was arguably the film that killed the collective Action star, On Deadly Ground did more than enough damage to Steven Seagal’s career on its own. It’s really nothing more than a $50 million egofuck that masquerades as a message pic, as Seagal’s good intentions are muddled in a morass of shitty plotting & a high quota of stuff going boom. These things are the norm in a mediocre Seagal movie but here they end up taking away from the all important “message”. To wit:
* Taft decides he’s going to blow up the oil rig but in such a way that oil won’t spill into the ocean. That’s all well and good but what about the burning oil fumes? I’m sure that adds to air pollution, genius. I could see if the rig was encased in a bubble-like fortress, keeping the fumes boxed in until the air could be purified but…C-MON!
* Forrest’s file gets pulled up to reveal his shady government agency past (not this again!) & that's apparently news to Jennings as his men are on their way to kill Taft. These men have never heard of background checks BEFORE they hire people?
* Apparently, as long as it’s in the name of saving the environment, it’s ok to murder 30+ people who most likely are not all mercenaries and have not been told why exactly a 6 ft., pony-tailed madman is snapping their clavicles & blowing shit up.
I could bring up numerous more instances of vanity & hypocrisy (and downright idiocy) but I’d be sitting here until frost formed on my testacles (seemingly because I wouldn’t be able to turn the heater on because I would be too busy typing said instances). Some people are skilled enough craftsmen to blend Actioner & message pic into one whole but Seagal isn’t one of them. The big guy uses a sledgehammer to pound his points home (witness his climactic, post rampage speech, which was edited from an astounding 11 minutes to about 3 in the final cut!), all while ignoring the fact that the rampant mayhem blunts any attempt at taking him seriously. If that’s not enough, the portions involving Seagal & the Indian tribe are hilarious in how the symbolism just becomes downright insulting (just add smoke, mirrors, mystical talk & big tittied Indian women). Caine can chalk this up as his most embarrassing role in his career, left to do nothing more than curse & chew heavy scenery (and have oil slicks in his hair fluctuate in color from scene to scene). If there’s anything good about this swill it’s that there is some snappily read lines from R. Lee Ermey (the tiresome “Who we’re dealing with” speech, which does at least sound fresh coming from Sgt. Hartman) & a chunkier, younger Billy Bob Thornton (“I wanna feel solid.”). And fans of Seagal will get their fix of their hero taking out extras with his bare hands, all whilst looking at some choice cinematography from Seagal film vet Ric Waite. However, fans will also have to fight through much nauseating preaching & spiritual doubletalk to see that stuff. There are plenty of Seagal flicks to see without that stuff getting in the way.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- The venerable Sven-Ole Thorsen makes his latest appearance here, as henchman Otto.
- Director Irvin Kershner (Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, Never Say Never Again) is the director of the TV spot Jennings is in.
- Bart the Bear (The Edge) is the bear that Seagal fights in his dream sequence. His hometown listed on IMDB is Baltimore, Maryland. Hey, hometown bear! I’d say he’s on par in hometown celebrity with Mel Kiper Jr.
Body Count/Violence: 38. Those critics grilling the makers of Pulp Fiction & Natural Born Killers over its violent content apparently skipped this bloodying the same year. Seagal brings his message to the masses via shooting, knife through the head, snapped wrists & limbs, gratuitous weaponry, kicks to the balls (watch out for that overdubbing!), explosions, car crashes, impaling via explosives & tree branches, torching, oil drowning, helicopter blade mutilation, etc. The barfight scene, which concludes in Forrest pounding remorse into a bullish barfly (Mike Starr) via the “hand slap” game, is arguably the most laughable scene in the film (as well as being instrumental in making Seagal look more like a douche). However, it doesn’t begin to touch the sadism of the scene where Palmer is murdered. Apparently, Steve felt that scene involving an old man having his fingers bashed with an ivory club & being cut into with a pipe cutter would make his cause seem more sympathetic. Well, he got it partly right.
Sexuality/Nudity: The dream sequence involves a dancing, topless Indian woman & several, fuller figured, topless Indian women. I’m sure Seagal was perusing a National Geographic before coming up with this.
Language/Dialogue: Fairly strong, as not many villains swear with the conviction of a pissed off Michael Caine.
How bad was it?:
Out of the 30+ films in Seagal’s storied career, this and The Foreigner have the great distinction of scoring a big, fat 0% on rottentomatoes.com. Critics chided the uneasy juxtaposition of Seagal’s bone crushing violence & heavy handed preaching, as well as Caine’s campy performance & obvious comparisons of the film to Tom Laughlin's Billy Jack series. Some critics say this is his worst film ever, while some have saved that award for any one of his DtoDVD features. Speaking of awards, Seagal nabbed a Razzie in 1995 for Worst Director (while the flick was nominated for five other Razzies). One of the few positives cited is Billy Bob’s brief role as mercenary Homer Carlton, which is pure redneck BBT at its finest.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Despite its status as a hopeless debacle, ODG did keep one Seagal tradition going: opening up #1 at the box office. Debuting on 2/18/94, it was the fifth Seagal flick in a row (starting with 1990’s Hard to Kill) to open at the top spot with a gross of $12.7 million. It actually took audiences a while to catch on to its badness, as it fell out of the top 10 nearly a month afterwards. When it sank, it sank fast as it went from 6th on the March 11th weekend to 11th & 17th the next successive weekends. It ended its run with a gross of $38.6 million and became the first Seagal vehicle to not turn a profit in America. Since ODG, only two Seagal films (Fire Down Below & Exit Wounds) have opened at #1 and Half Past Dead was his last film to be seen in theaters (released 11/15/02). As Homer Simpson once put it: “The moral of the story is…never try.”
Film: */*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
would like to warn you about the dangers…of Vaporlock!
On Deadly Ground
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
Of all of those general questions that spread through any realm of competition, the one that is always the most intriguing is “Where did it all go wrong?” This can be attributed to almost anyone involved in a competitive field but many pundits like to apply the question to certain dynasties. We all like to offer our own opinions on when a certain person or franchise “jumped the shark”, so to speak. Last year’s New England Patriots…Guns ‘n Roses…Mike Tyson; everyone has their takes on where these dominant forces failed. Some are more opinionated (me, I think the Patriots thought the game was a forgone conclusion & upon hearing everyone on ESPN and their mother proclaim the Pats the leaders of the free world, the Giants went out and played the game of a lifetime) and others seem pretty obvious (Axl’s a nutbag perfectionist that seemingly alienates everyone within five feet of him and Tyson’s a combination of too much success coming to a person with a street upbringing & lack of mental faculties). For Steven Seagal, the moment is fairly easy to point out. Warner Brothers wanted the big man to reprise his role of super soldier/cook Casey Ryback for the upcoming sequel to Seagal’s hit Under Siege (the film is Seagal’s biggest starring gross to date, at $83.6 million). Seagal agreed…as long as he got to direct his own effort down the line. Something about fighting a mystical bear, the environment, big oil, etc. I’m sure he had them at “mystical bear”. The WB folk agreed to let Seagal helm his own project…hence, On Deadly Ground. And you thought Patton Oswalt’s mind was boggled by Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (PEOPLE!).
The Plot, as it was:
Seagal portrays Forrest Taft (judging by Seagal’s impending girth, Taft was a descendant of twenty-seventh American President William Howard Taft), a troubleshooter for the Aegis Oil company who finds out some rather unsavory things about his employers. Apparently, his boss Jennings (Michael Caine…really?) knowingly has faulty equipment in his soon-to-be-operating AEGIS-1 oil rig, which will cause a catastrophic oil spill once it malfunctions. Taft’s curmudgeon co-worker Palmer (Richard Hamilton) knows of the company’s secrets…and is soon brutally dispatched by Jennings’ personal killer MacGruder (John C. McGinley). However, Palmer manages to copy the info to a disc before his demise so Taft gets his hands on it (despite the fact the disc doesn’t figure into the story again…trust me, it gets worse). Instead of going to the authorities with the data (remember, EVERYONE’S corrupt, so that option’s out), Taft goes the logical route: he nearly gets killed by Aegis henchmen, discovered by Indians (one of them being Joan Chen, who must be hated by her agent beyond all reproach), goes on a spiritual quest & decides the best cause for action is to murder the baddies & blow the damn oil rig all to shit. If your cranium isn’t spewing blood form your ears at this point, consider yourself one of the lucky ones.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Even though 1994’s Pulp Fiction was arguably the film that killed the collective Action star, On Deadly Ground did more than enough damage to Steven Seagal’s career on its own. It’s really nothing more than a $50 million egofuck that masquerades as a message pic, as Seagal’s good intentions are muddled in a morass of shitty plotting & a high quota of stuff going boom. These things are the norm in a mediocre Seagal movie but here they end up taking away from the all important “message”. To wit:
* Taft decides he’s going to blow up the oil rig but in such a way that oil won’t spill into the ocean. That’s all well and good but what about the burning oil fumes? I’m sure that adds to air pollution, genius. I could see if the rig was encased in a bubble-like fortress, keeping the fumes boxed in until the air could be purified but…C-MON!
* Forrest’s file gets pulled up to reveal his shady government agency past (not this again!) & that's apparently news to Jennings as his men are on their way to kill Taft. These men have never heard of background checks BEFORE they hire people?
* Apparently, as long as it’s in the name of saving the environment, it’s ok to murder 30+ people who most likely are not all mercenaries and have not been told why exactly a 6 ft., pony-tailed madman is snapping their clavicles & blowing shit up.
I could bring up numerous more instances of vanity & hypocrisy (and downright idiocy) but I’d be sitting here until frost formed on my testacles (seemingly because I wouldn’t be able to turn the heater on because I would be too busy typing said instances). Some people are skilled enough craftsmen to blend Actioner & message pic into one whole but Seagal isn’t one of them. The big guy uses a sledgehammer to pound his points home (witness his climactic, post rampage speech, which was edited from an astounding 11 minutes to about 3 in the final cut!), all while ignoring the fact that the rampant mayhem blunts any attempt at taking him seriously. If that’s not enough, the portions involving Seagal & the Indian tribe are hilarious in how the symbolism just becomes downright insulting (just add smoke, mirrors, mystical talk & big tittied Indian women). Caine can chalk this up as his most embarrassing role in his career, left to do nothing more than curse & chew heavy scenery (and have oil slicks in his hair fluctuate in color from scene to scene). If there’s anything good about this swill it’s that there is some snappily read lines from R. Lee Ermey (the tiresome “Who we’re dealing with” speech, which does at least sound fresh coming from Sgt. Hartman) & a chunkier, younger Billy Bob Thornton (“I wanna feel solid.”). And fans of Seagal will get their fix of their hero taking out extras with his bare hands, all whilst looking at some choice cinematography from Seagal film vet Ric Waite. However, fans will also have to fight through much nauseating preaching & spiritual doubletalk to see that stuff. There are plenty of Seagal flicks to see without that stuff getting in the way.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- The venerable Sven-Ole Thorsen makes his latest appearance here, as henchman Otto.
- Director Irvin Kershner (Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, Never Say Never Again) is the director of the TV spot Jennings is in.
- Bart the Bear (The Edge) is the bear that Seagal fights in his dream sequence. His hometown listed on IMDB is Baltimore, Maryland. Hey, hometown bear! I’d say he’s on par in hometown celebrity with Mel Kiper Jr.
Body Count/Violence: 38. Those critics grilling the makers of Pulp Fiction & Natural Born Killers over its violent content apparently skipped this bloodying the same year. Seagal brings his message to the masses via shooting, knife through the head, snapped wrists & limbs, gratuitous weaponry, kicks to the balls (watch out for that overdubbing!), explosions, car crashes, impaling via explosives & tree branches, torching, oil drowning, helicopter blade mutilation, etc. The barfight scene, which concludes in Forrest pounding remorse into a bullish barfly (Mike Starr) via the “hand slap” game, is arguably the most laughable scene in the film (as well as being instrumental in making Seagal look more like a douche). However, it doesn’t begin to touch the sadism of the scene where Palmer is murdered. Apparently, Steve felt that scene involving an old man having his fingers bashed with an ivory club & being cut into with a pipe cutter would make his cause seem more sympathetic. Well, he got it partly right.
Sexuality/Nudity: The dream sequence involves a dancing, topless Indian woman & several, fuller figured, topless Indian women. I’m sure Seagal was perusing a National Geographic before coming up with this.
Language/Dialogue: Fairly strong, as not many villains swear with the conviction of a pissed off Michael Caine.
How bad was it?:
Out of the 30+ films in Seagal’s storied career, this and The Foreigner have the great distinction of scoring a big, fat 0% on rottentomatoes.com. Critics chided the uneasy juxtaposition of Seagal’s bone crushing violence & heavy handed preaching, as well as Caine’s campy performance & obvious comparisons of the film to Tom Laughlin's Billy Jack series. Some critics say this is his worst film ever, while some have saved that award for any one of his DtoDVD features. Speaking of awards, Seagal nabbed a Razzie in 1995 for Worst Director (while the flick was nominated for five other Razzies). One of the few positives cited is Billy Bob’s brief role as mercenary Homer Carlton, which is pure redneck BBT at its finest.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Despite its status as a hopeless debacle, ODG did keep one Seagal tradition going: opening up #1 at the box office. Debuting on 2/18/94, it was the fifth Seagal flick in a row (starting with 1990’s Hard to Kill) to open at the top spot with a gross of $12.7 million. It actually took audiences a while to catch on to its badness, as it fell out of the top 10 nearly a month afterwards. When it sank, it sank fast as it went from 6th on the March 11th weekend to 11th & 17th the next successive weekends. It ended its run with a gross of $38.6 million and became the first Seagal vehicle to not turn a profit in America. Since ODG, only two Seagal films (Fire Down Below & Exit Wounds) have opened at #1 and Half Past Dead was his last film to be seen in theaters (released 11/15/02). As Homer Simpson once put it: “The moral of the story is…never try.”
Film: */*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Death Race (2008)
The Action Mutant…
only imagines if Vince McMahon had the PPV numbers the “Death Race” gets!
Death Race
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
So, Death Race is the 2008 remake/re-imagining of the 1975 cult classic Death Race 2000, which (in turn) was inspired by that same year’s Rollerball. Oddly enough, that film was (poorly) remade in 2002; a rare misfire by Die Hard auteur John McTiernan. It also probably didn’t help that the movie was re-edited from an R to PG-13 in order for “broader audience appeal” (and yet, one of the things cut was a nude scene by Rebecca Romijin-Stamos. Go figure, I guess). It was so bad that LL Cool J stated the film sucked when he was on Late Night with Conan O’Brien many years later. Of course, the high point in the flick for me was pro wrestling guru Paul Heyman’s bellowing “It’s time to play…RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLERBALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!” I’m sure I’ll review the latter version of Rollerball one day…you know if I get really plastered or lose a bet or something.
The point: Needless remakes prompt equally needless banter about them.
The Plot, as it was:
Jason Statham plays Jensen Ames, a man framed for the murder of his wife & sent to Terminal Island Prison. While there, he is given an interesting proposition by ice queen warden Hennessey (Joan Allen) that is just slightly better than the propositions you usually get in prisons! The main income for the prison (and the corporations that run the country’s prisons, since the economy has fallen on hard times) is the “Death Race”, the most popular sport in the world. Hosting the race for broadcast via internet paysite, Hennessey has run into a snag as Frankenstein, the Race’s hero (with cameo voice work by David Carradine), was killed during his most recent run-in with “Machine Gun” Joe Mason (Tyrese Gibson). Hennessey convinces Ames to don the Frankenstein garb by stating he might win his freedom if he wins the upcoming Race. Aided by sexy navigator Case (Natalie Martinez) & a pit crew led by the hard bitten Coach (Ian McShane of Deadwood fame), Ames must survive a race that is controlled by Hennessey’s whims and motives, which can change by the second.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Despite my rant above, Death Race is not the unmitigated disaster one might have thought it would be. If it has anything at all going for it, it is that it was penned & directed by Sci-Fi/Horror genre favorite Paul W.S. Anderson (the Resident Evil trilogy, Event Horizon), who has proven that he can do blood, guts & atmosphere with the best of them. However, if one is expecting an inkling of the satiric edge that accompanied Death Race 2000…well, it’s just not going to be there. In fact, aside from the use of a few character names & the basic concept of the race being a “death sport”, Death Race is not at all like its predecessor. Whereas the mayhem was put against the backdrop of DR2K, mayhem is all Death Race has to rest against. The story is fairly thin and that means there is a lot of blood to try to compensate for it. It all looks stylish & grim, as per usual from P.W.S.A so if you’re just looking for a loud, brutal good time, the movie satisfies on that front. Statham gives his obligatory Eastwood-by-English Bob, tough guy performance & Allen does as much as she can with the worn, “authoritative villain” routine. McShane is one of the few beacons of light here, reveling in being the hard, old salt (though that means slightly less swears than he would encompass as Al Swearengen). The angle that is taken with Gibson’s MGJ Mason (he’s gay & prisoners fight for the right to be his navigator, though most of them end up dead) is the most interesting thing about his character, as there’s not much else to it. Everyone else just drives their supped-up vehicles & looks tough right through to the finale, which includes one of those instances where a villain turns into a good guy in order to move the story along, despite everything the villain was about going against such a turn. Slap on the requisite “happy ending” & that’s exactly what encapsulates Death Race as a whole; though it doesn’t intend to reinvent the wheel, one would expect some attempts at something inspired. Ok, the hyping of the races amused me because it was straight out of a wrestling/MMA ad but that was about it.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- Though he’s technically not in the film, horror cinema critic John Fallon (aka "The Arrow") is credited as a Neo Nazi (his scene was left on the cutting room floor).
Body Count/Violence: 28. The amount of time spent on cultivating the video game-like violence in Death Race must have been 10x longer than time spent on anything else. Along with the loads of bullets fired and cars crashing left & right, there’s impaling, car and body crushing, decapitation, neck snapping, gutting, explosions, beatings, torching, stabbing, razor cutting, etc. Things are quite bloody & brutal but edited at a quick pace so stuff isn’t lingered upon much.
Sexuality/Nudity: Male ass in the shower. There’s a scene where all of the female navigators emerge from a bus, looking all hot & sexy and we get…male ass in the shower.
Language/Dialogue: Strong at times, with Allen getting the line of the film: “Ok, cocksucker. Fuck with me, and we'll see who shits on the sidewalk!” Apparently, your degree of freedom is determined by being able to defecate onto the street. I was not aware of this.
How bad was it?:
As critically maligned as DR2K was, it at least has cult classic status going for it. Not many free passes going about for this one, even from genre fans. Ebert lambasted this as much as the previous one, stating that this one was so much like a video game that he was wondering when the movie was going to start. Ouch!
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Like one of its spectacular crashes, Death Race flamed out before it got a chance to regain itself. Universal released the $45 million speedster on 8/22/08 and only racked up $12.6 million for a 3rd place finish (behind Tropic Thunder & The House Bunny). Well, at least it beat The Dark Knight…though it was in its 6th week in theaters. It stayed steady in the top 15 for about a month before it sank out of sight. Earning $36.1 million in the states to date (plus $23.4 million overseas), it was last in the top 100 at #41 on 10/10/08. I don’t expect any miracles but there’s always DVD.
Film: **1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
only imagines if Vince McMahon had the PPV numbers the “Death Race” gets!
Death Race
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
So, Death Race is the 2008 remake/re-imagining of the 1975 cult classic Death Race 2000, which (in turn) was inspired by that same year’s Rollerball. Oddly enough, that film was (poorly) remade in 2002; a rare misfire by Die Hard auteur John McTiernan. It also probably didn’t help that the movie was re-edited from an R to PG-13 in order for “broader audience appeal” (and yet, one of the things cut was a nude scene by Rebecca Romijin-Stamos. Go figure, I guess). It was so bad that LL Cool J stated the film sucked when he was on Late Night with Conan O’Brien many years later. Of course, the high point in the flick for me was pro wrestling guru Paul Heyman’s bellowing “It’s time to play…RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLERBALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!” I’m sure I’ll review the latter version of Rollerball one day…you know if I get really plastered or lose a bet or something.
The point: Needless remakes prompt equally needless banter about them.
The Plot, as it was:
Jason Statham plays Jensen Ames, a man framed for the murder of his wife & sent to Terminal Island Prison. While there, he is given an interesting proposition by ice queen warden Hennessey (Joan Allen) that is just slightly better than the propositions you usually get in prisons! The main income for the prison (and the corporations that run the country’s prisons, since the economy has fallen on hard times) is the “Death Race”, the most popular sport in the world. Hosting the race for broadcast via internet paysite, Hennessey has run into a snag as Frankenstein, the Race’s hero (with cameo voice work by David Carradine), was killed during his most recent run-in with “Machine Gun” Joe Mason (Tyrese Gibson). Hennessey convinces Ames to don the Frankenstein garb by stating he might win his freedom if he wins the upcoming Race. Aided by sexy navigator Case (Natalie Martinez) & a pit crew led by the hard bitten Coach (Ian McShane of Deadwood fame), Ames must survive a race that is controlled by Hennessey’s whims and motives, which can change by the second.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Despite my rant above, Death Race is not the unmitigated disaster one might have thought it would be. If it has anything at all going for it, it is that it was penned & directed by Sci-Fi/Horror genre favorite Paul W.S. Anderson (the Resident Evil trilogy, Event Horizon), who has proven that he can do blood, guts & atmosphere with the best of them. However, if one is expecting an inkling of the satiric edge that accompanied Death Race 2000…well, it’s just not going to be there. In fact, aside from the use of a few character names & the basic concept of the race being a “death sport”, Death Race is not at all like its predecessor. Whereas the mayhem was put against the backdrop of DR2K, mayhem is all Death Race has to rest against. The story is fairly thin and that means there is a lot of blood to try to compensate for it. It all looks stylish & grim, as per usual from P.W.S.A so if you’re just looking for a loud, brutal good time, the movie satisfies on that front. Statham gives his obligatory Eastwood-by-English Bob, tough guy performance & Allen does as much as she can with the worn, “authoritative villain” routine. McShane is one of the few beacons of light here, reveling in being the hard, old salt (though that means slightly less swears than he would encompass as Al Swearengen). The angle that is taken with Gibson’s MGJ Mason (he’s gay & prisoners fight for the right to be his navigator, though most of them end up dead) is the most interesting thing about his character, as there’s not much else to it. Everyone else just drives their supped-up vehicles & looks tough right through to the finale, which includes one of those instances where a villain turns into a good guy in order to move the story along, despite everything the villain was about going against such a turn. Slap on the requisite “happy ending” & that’s exactly what encapsulates Death Race as a whole; though it doesn’t intend to reinvent the wheel, one would expect some attempts at something inspired. Ok, the hyping of the races amused me because it was straight out of a wrestling/MMA ad but that was about it.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- Though he’s technically not in the film, horror cinema critic John Fallon (aka "The Arrow") is credited as a Neo Nazi (his scene was left on the cutting room floor).
Body Count/Violence: 28. The amount of time spent on cultivating the video game-like violence in Death Race must have been 10x longer than time spent on anything else. Along with the loads of bullets fired and cars crashing left & right, there’s impaling, car and body crushing, decapitation, neck snapping, gutting, explosions, beatings, torching, stabbing, razor cutting, etc. Things are quite bloody & brutal but edited at a quick pace so stuff isn’t lingered upon much.
Sexuality/Nudity: Male ass in the shower. There’s a scene where all of the female navigators emerge from a bus, looking all hot & sexy and we get…male ass in the shower.
Language/Dialogue: Strong at times, with Allen getting the line of the film: “Ok, cocksucker. Fuck with me, and we'll see who shits on the sidewalk!” Apparently, your degree of freedom is determined by being able to defecate onto the street. I was not aware of this.
How bad was it?:
As critically maligned as DR2K was, it at least has cult classic status going for it. Not many free passes going about for this one, even from genre fans. Ebert lambasted this as much as the previous one, stating that this one was so much like a video game that he was wondering when the movie was going to start. Ouch!
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Like one of its spectacular crashes, Death Race flamed out before it got a chance to regain itself. Universal released the $45 million speedster on 8/22/08 and only racked up $12.6 million for a 3rd place finish (behind Tropic Thunder & The House Bunny). Well, at least it beat The Dark Knight…though it was in its 6th week in theaters. It stayed steady in the top 15 for about a month before it sank out of sight. Earning $36.1 million in the states to date (plus $23.4 million overseas), it was last in the top 100 at #41 on 10/10/08. I don’t expect any miracles but there’s always DVD.
Film: **1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Death Race 2000
The Action Mutant…
swears Crack was stronger in the 1970s (and this film is proof!).
Death Race 2000
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
Roger Corman is like any other movie producer. He breathes, he talks and he puts his pants on one leg at a time…only, once his pants are on, he makes hit movies. And not just any hit movies…movies that have budgets that equal the amount of money Michael Bay can go through in a half a day! Corman’s greatest claim to fame is that he made the original Little Shop of Horrors in 2 ½ days, a record that no one will seemingly get close to breaking in this day & age. He’s also known for taking the popular films of the day and crafting a smaller scale, lower funded (though not always a “rip-off”) knockoff & turn them into profitable projects. With Bonnie & Clyde, there came Bloody Mama, Boxcar Bertha & Big Bad Mama (but not Big Bad Bloody Boxcar). With Jaws, there came Piranha. With Star Wars, there came Battle Beyond the Stars. With Jurassic Park, there came Carnosaur. And with Rollerball, there came Death Race 2000. And everyone was wearing gold plated diapers in the end. Although they were probably spray painted gold to keep with the budget.
The Plot, as it was:
David Carradine stars as Frankenstein, the leather clad hero of a futuristic, dystopian America’s favorite sport…the Transcontinental Road Race (aka “the Death Race”)! A tradition instilled by “Mr. President” (residing at his summer palace in Peking), the cross country Race can be won not only by crossing the finish line first but by mowing down pedestrians & gathering points for each corpse! Dubbed as such because his body has been rebuilt after each year’s brutal race, Frankenstein joins other colorful racers such as Nero the Hero (Martin Kove), Matilda the Hun (Roberta Collins), Calamity Jane (Mary Woronov)…and a loudmouth gangster named “Machine Gun” Joe Viterbo (Sylvester Stallone!). However, a group of rebels (led by Thomasina Paine...har har) that is against “Mr. President’s” policies threatens to quash the Race for good as rebel spy Annie Smith (Simone Griffeth) also happens to be Frankenstein’s navigator. Well, if worse comes to worse, blame the French!
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
If Death Race 2000 was a child, it would resemble Bart Simpson. He would be lighting cherry bombs in the bathroom, all while sporting a sly, devilish grin & cracking satirical humor. Add to that a definite air of oddness & gallows humor (all about the “Euthanasia Day” scene) and you have a one-of-a-kind cult classic. All this movie challenges you to do is to look on with pure anarchic glee & have somewhat of a strong constitution. The flick manages to balance a number of goofy touches with material that would be downright ugly in the wrong hands. Though there’s nothing you’d call award winning as far as the acting’s concerned, the performances are appropriately overplayed (or underplayed, depending on the situation) for maximum effect. Carradine admits this is the one that made his film career & he rode the film’s wave of weirdness into his future endeavors. Here, he deadpans Frankenstein to great comic effect at times & comes off as a great contrast to Stallone’s Viterbo. Sly hams it up notoriously here but it’s totally within the character & he does have his fair share of one liners (see below). The hilarity doesn’t stop at the two “name” actors, as “The Real” Don Steele’s annoying (yet appropriately so) play-by-play announcer act is all peaches & Carle Bensen does a mean Howard Cosell back when that impersonation was timely and fresh (lets not forget Joyce Jameson as gossip reporter Grace Pander…a dear friend of mine). The women (namely Woronov) bring enough sass to otherwise thankless roles & pull off lines like “Whoever named your car the Bull... was only half right!” with impunity. The script by Robert Thom & Charles B. Griffith contains many crazy anachronisms (Matilda the Hun…really?) and cheeky satiric jabs (the word “sabotage” is derived from French, you know!) that put it past people’s expectations of just being all about mayhem. Best of all, director Paul Bartel oversees a pretty competent, highly entertaining product, despite the obvious budgetary constraints (dig the crazy car designs). It may not be high art, but DR2K is great fun for the troublemaker in all of us.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- Paul Bartel is the doctor that introduces Frankenstein.
- Director John Landis (Trading Places, Innocent Blood) is one of the mechanics.
- Lewis Teague (director of…ooooooooooohhh, Navy Seals!) is the Toreador.
Body Count/Violence: 33. Despite the crude production values, DR2K delivers on the carnage front in more than satisfying fashion. There’s plenty of blood (though a lot of it is of the “red paint” variety the 70s was known for) brought on by plenty of drive-by hits, with some of the results being impaling (by MG Joe’s hunting knife…which is mounted onto the hood of his car!), limb ripping, head crushing & tire peeling on one’s body! We also get some fighting, plenty of explosions, car crashing, shooting & more. And a “hand grenade”. No, really.
Sexuality/Nudity: It’s the 1970s, when exploitation was king…of course there’s nudity! Griffeth bares her chest twice in as many bedroom scenes, as well as Collins, Woronov & Louise Moritz (Myra) showing their chests in a rubdown scene (no, they don’t rubdown each other). Carradine is in his underwear on more than one occasion, if that makes the ladies happy.
Language/Dialogue: Just some mild expletives. Gotta love Sly’s classic retort: “I got two words to say to that... BULL…SHIT!”
How bad was it?:
Most critics look at this with great reminiscence & basically look past its faults. Ebert gave it zero stars when it first came out but his review sounds more like a decree against theaters letting little kids into R rated movies (and them enjoying the violence) than anything about the film in general.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Filmed in various California locations in the fall of 1974, Death Race 2000 was produced & released by Corman’s New World Pictures on 4/27/75 for a paltry $300,000 (did you expect millions? It’s Roger Corman, people!). Though no gross has ever been made known, it’s been around long enough to ensure that profit was pretty substantial. It is available on DVD through several small video companies, Corman’s New Horizons Home Video & even Disney!
Film: ***/*****
Entertainment value: *****/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
swears Crack was stronger in the 1970s (and this film is proof!).
Death Race 2000
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
Roger Corman is like any other movie producer. He breathes, he talks and he puts his pants on one leg at a time…only, once his pants are on, he makes hit movies. And not just any hit movies…movies that have budgets that equal the amount of money Michael Bay can go through in a half a day! Corman’s greatest claim to fame is that he made the original Little Shop of Horrors in 2 ½ days, a record that no one will seemingly get close to breaking in this day & age. He’s also known for taking the popular films of the day and crafting a smaller scale, lower funded (though not always a “rip-off”) knockoff & turn them into profitable projects. With Bonnie & Clyde, there came Bloody Mama, Boxcar Bertha & Big Bad Mama (but not Big Bad Bloody Boxcar). With Jaws, there came Piranha. With Star Wars, there came Battle Beyond the Stars. With Jurassic Park, there came Carnosaur. And with Rollerball, there came Death Race 2000. And everyone was wearing gold plated diapers in the end. Although they were probably spray painted gold to keep with the budget.
The Plot, as it was:
David Carradine stars as Frankenstein, the leather clad hero of a futuristic, dystopian America’s favorite sport…the Transcontinental Road Race (aka “the Death Race”)! A tradition instilled by “Mr. President” (residing at his summer palace in Peking), the cross country Race can be won not only by crossing the finish line first but by mowing down pedestrians & gathering points for each corpse! Dubbed as such because his body has been rebuilt after each year’s brutal race, Frankenstein joins other colorful racers such as Nero the Hero (Martin Kove), Matilda the Hun (Roberta Collins), Calamity Jane (Mary Woronov)…and a loudmouth gangster named “Machine Gun” Joe Viterbo (Sylvester Stallone!). However, a group of rebels (led by Thomasina Paine...har har) that is against “Mr. President’s” policies threatens to quash the Race for good as rebel spy Annie Smith (Simone Griffeth) also happens to be Frankenstein’s navigator. Well, if worse comes to worse, blame the French!
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
If Death Race 2000 was a child, it would resemble Bart Simpson. He would be lighting cherry bombs in the bathroom, all while sporting a sly, devilish grin & cracking satirical humor. Add to that a definite air of oddness & gallows humor (all about the “Euthanasia Day” scene) and you have a one-of-a-kind cult classic. All this movie challenges you to do is to look on with pure anarchic glee & have somewhat of a strong constitution. The flick manages to balance a number of goofy touches with material that would be downright ugly in the wrong hands. Though there’s nothing you’d call award winning as far as the acting’s concerned, the performances are appropriately overplayed (or underplayed, depending on the situation) for maximum effect. Carradine admits this is the one that made his film career & he rode the film’s wave of weirdness into his future endeavors. Here, he deadpans Frankenstein to great comic effect at times & comes off as a great contrast to Stallone’s Viterbo. Sly hams it up notoriously here but it’s totally within the character & he does have his fair share of one liners (see below). The hilarity doesn’t stop at the two “name” actors, as “The Real” Don Steele’s annoying (yet appropriately so) play-by-play announcer act is all peaches & Carle Bensen does a mean Howard Cosell back when that impersonation was timely and fresh (lets not forget Joyce Jameson as gossip reporter Grace Pander…a dear friend of mine). The women (namely Woronov) bring enough sass to otherwise thankless roles & pull off lines like “Whoever named your car the Bull... was only half right!” with impunity. The script by Robert Thom & Charles B. Griffith contains many crazy anachronisms (Matilda the Hun…really?) and cheeky satiric jabs (the word “sabotage” is derived from French, you know!) that put it past people’s expectations of just being all about mayhem. Best of all, director Paul Bartel oversees a pretty competent, highly entertaining product, despite the obvious budgetary constraints (dig the crazy car designs). It may not be high art, but DR2K is great fun for the troublemaker in all of us.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- Paul Bartel is the doctor that introduces Frankenstein.
- Director John Landis (Trading Places, Innocent Blood) is one of the mechanics.
- Lewis Teague (director of…ooooooooooohhh, Navy Seals!) is the Toreador.
Body Count/Violence: 33. Despite the crude production values, DR2K delivers on the carnage front in more than satisfying fashion. There’s plenty of blood (though a lot of it is of the “red paint” variety the 70s was known for) brought on by plenty of drive-by hits, with some of the results being impaling (by MG Joe’s hunting knife…which is mounted onto the hood of his car!), limb ripping, head crushing & tire peeling on one’s body! We also get some fighting, plenty of explosions, car crashing, shooting & more. And a “hand grenade”. No, really.
Sexuality/Nudity: It’s the 1970s, when exploitation was king…of course there’s nudity! Griffeth bares her chest twice in as many bedroom scenes, as well as Collins, Woronov & Louise Moritz (Myra) showing their chests in a rubdown scene (no, they don’t rubdown each other). Carradine is in his underwear on more than one occasion, if that makes the ladies happy.
Language/Dialogue: Just some mild expletives. Gotta love Sly’s classic retort: “I got two words to say to that... BULL…SHIT!”
How bad was it?:
Most critics look at this with great reminiscence & basically look past its faults. Ebert gave it zero stars when it first came out but his review sounds more like a decree against theaters letting little kids into R rated movies (and them enjoying the violence) than anything about the film in general.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Filmed in various California locations in the fall of 1974, Death Race 2000 was produced & released by Corman’s New World Pictures on 4/27/75 for a paltry $300,000 (did you expect millions? It’s Roger Corman, people!). Though no gross has ever been made known, it’s been around long enough to ensure that profit was pretty substantial. It is available on DVD through several small video companies, Corman’s New Horizons Home Video & even Disney!
Film: ***/*****
Entertainment value: *****/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Righteous Kill
The Action Mutant…
believes the Nazis might be…RIGHT BEHIND THIS WALL! HOO-AHH!!!
Righteous Kill
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
DeNiro and Pacino. A time not too long ago, their upcoming roles were looked at as cinematic events upon themselves. Now, they’re on the short list of Frank Caliendo’s five best impersonations. As funny as those impersonations are (Pacino, particularly), its still a bit disheartening considering both are supposedly “the greatest actors of our generation”, to use a cliché. Many say the cracks started to show after Pacino belted his first “HOO-AHH!” or when DeNiro played the most unlikely Frankenstein ever (yes, even more unlikely than Peter Boyle). The last 10-15 years have seen both in high profile variations on the same act: Pacino screaming & bugged eyed and beyond reproach; DeNiro playing the same, Bickle-esque mook/psychopath. Sure, its still amusing at times & the two still branch out from time to time (Looking for Richard for Al, Wag the Dog for Bobby) but those were little seen tomes in their careers. The little time capsule that every film fanatic seems to hold on to is the pair’s six minute scene they share in Michael Mann’s epic Heat. I’m sure that every armchair director had to be thinking to themselves since the first time they saw that scene, “I wonder what a film would be like where they were together the whole movie!” Well, guess what? After seeing Righteous Kill, you won’t have to. And that’s a shame.
The Plot, as it was:
Al and Bobby play Rooster & Turk (and there is a reason for that), two veteran detectives of the NYPD that are your typical odd couple. Rooster’s the laconic type that watches the chips fall where they may, while Turk is the slightly bent, right all wrongs hardass that doesn’t go by the book. The duo is on the trail of a serial killer that seems to be offing people that both have busted over the years, only to see those people go free on a technicality. Everything seems par for the course until the possibility is brought up that it could be a cop doing the killing. All signs point to a “Turk”ey shoot but it can’t be that obvious, right? Right…?
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
I wish I could say Righteous Kill is just merely bad. I wish I could say that both leads break into their usual histrionics & take the viewer on an over the top show. It would be a lot easier than explaining the real reasons why RK fails to hit the mark. The main problem is everything is…just there. If not for the stature of the film’s leads, Kill could pass as a direct-to-DVD or TV movie, only with saltier language. Director Jon Avnet (88 Minutes, which was Pacino’s last vehicle) and writer Russell Gerwitz (Inside Man) infuse no life into well tread territory (aside from the obligatory, opening credit montage), as some better craftsmen would have at least made it seem somewhat fresh. Of course, they had two very capable leads to pick up the slack and…well, they were just there, too! DeNiro only wakes up every now and again, namely when the script calls for him to be angry. He approaches the old pro standard of “hitting the marks” but that’s about it, as he hardly does anything memorable. Pacino’s “crazy man” act only really shows up in the final third & even then, it seemed stunted. Any instances of resonance that the two add to their characters are few & far between. The scenes in which the two are together work well but the dynamic can only do so much. The story does no favors for the supporting cast, as serviceable work by Carla Gugino, John Leguizamo, Donnie Wahlberg, Brian Dennehy and even Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, is totally wasted at every turn. The much criticized twist ending is decent at best but would have probably gone over better if it weren’t just trailed by 85 minutes of mediocrity. If Heat had never existed, Righteous Kill might have come off even better than it really is but probably not by much.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- Ajay Naidu (Samir in Office Space) is Dr. Chadrabar.
Body Count/Violence: 13. Being a standard cop thriller, this has standard cop thriller violence. Some bloody gunshots and after-the-fact corpses are the norm here, as well as a beating. One particular kill is punctuated by a very obvious dummy being tossed through a window.
Sexuality/Nudity: Sex and S&M fun is implied but not shown. Gugino is shown in her bra & Trilby Glover has her clothes torn at but that’s it. A male corpse’s bare backside is show at a crime scene, if you’re into that sort of deal.
Language/Dialogue: About one thing that can be agreed upon is that both DeNiro & Pacino are involved, vulgarities will be prevalent. Plenty of F-word usage abounds, along with other choice words (Needle Dick?).
How bad was it?:
A Pacino film hasn’t been this universally panned since…well, 88 Minutes! Seriously, the reviews could be used in conjunction with McDonalds’ next promotion. “Find a positive review of Righteous Kill on your next Value Meal and win a free cookie!” Hey, it can’t be a million bucks because the odds would at least be 1 in 75. Regardless, **1/2 is about as glowing as a review can get for this flick.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Overture Films & Millennium Films released the $60 million Righteous Kill on 9/12/08 (a year after principle photography finished) and saw it thud in a typically abysmal, post-Summer weekend in 3rd place with $16.3 million. It dropped out of the top 10 by the end of the month and is currently standing at $38.8 million (with an equally blah $2.9 million overseas gross tacked on, for a total of $41.7 million). This performance, despite mounds of hype ads proclaiming the teaming of the two leads for the first time in thirteen years. Although one can’t blame the studio for shamelessly plugging that angle for all its worth, did they really need to use The Rolling Stones’ “Sympathy for the Devil” during the early TV ads that were put out? C-mon, don’t give the audience’s hopes up by having them wax nostalgic for Scorsese. Some cinematic crimes SHOULD be punishable by law!
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
believes the Nazis might be…RIGHT BEHIND THIS WALL! HOO-AHH!!!
Righteous Kill
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
DeNiro and Pacino. A time not too long ago, their upcoming roles were looked at as cinematic events upon themselves. Now, they’re on the short list of Frank Caliendo’s five best impersonations. As funny as those impersonations are (Pacino, particularly), its still a bit disheartening considering both are supposedly “the greatest actors of our generation”, to use a cliché. Many say the cracks started to show after Pacino belted his first “HOO-AHH!” or when DeNiro played the most unlikely Frankenstein ever (yes, even more unlikely than Peter Boyle). The last 10-15 years have seen both in high profile variations on the same act: Pacino screaming & bugged eyed and beyond reproach; DeNiro playing the same, Bickle-esque mook/psychopath. Sure, its still amusing at times & the two still branch out from time to time (Looking for Richard for Al, Wag the Dog for Bobby) but those were little seen tomes in their careers. The little time capsule that every film fanatic seems to hold on to is the pair’s six minute scene they share in Michael Mann’s epic Heat. I’m sure that every armchair director had to be thinking to themselves since the first time they saw that scene, “I wonder what a film would be like where they were together the whole movie!” Well, guess what? After seeing Righteous Kill, you won’t have to. And that’s a shame.
The Plot, as it was:
Al and Bobby play Rooster & Turk (and there is a reason for that), two veteran detectives of the NYPD that are your typical odd couple. Rooster’s the laconic type that watches the chips fall where they may, while Turk is the slightly bent, right all wrongs hardass that doesn’t go by the book. The duo is on the trail of a serial killer that seems to be offing people that both have busted over the years, only to see those people go free on a technicality. Everything seems par for the course until the possibility is brought up that it could be a cop doing the killing. All signs point to a “Turk”ey shoot but it can’t be that obvious, right? Right…?
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
I wish I could say Righteous Kill is just merely bad. I wish I could say that both leads break into their usual histrionics & take the viewer on an over the top show. It would be a lot easier than explaining the real reasons why RK fails to hit the mark. The main problem is everything is…just there. If not for the stature of the film’s leads, Kill could pass as a direct-to-DVD or TV movie, only with saltier language. Director Jon Avnet (88 Minutes, which was Pacino’s last vehicle) and writer Russell Gerwitz (Inside Man) infuse no life into well tread territory (aside from the obligatory, opening credit montage), as some better craftsmen would have at least made it seem somewhat fresh. Of course, they had two very capable leads to pick up the slack and…well, they were just there, too! DeNiro only wakes up every now and again, namely when the script calls for him to be angry. He approaches the old pro standard of “hitting the marks” but that’s about it, as he hardly does anything memorable. Pacino’s “crazy man” act only really shows up in the final third & even then, it seemed stunted. Any instances of resonance that the two add to their characters are few & far between. The scenes in which the two are together work well but the dynamic can only do so much. The story does no favors for the supporting cast, as serviceable work by Carla Gugino, John Leguizamo, Donnie Wahlberg, Brian Dennehy and even Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, is totally wasted at every turn. The much criticized twist ending is decent at best but would have probably gone over better if it weren’t just trailed by 85 minutes of mediocrity. If Heat had never existed, Righteous Kill might have come off even better than it really is but probably not by much.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- Ajay Naidu (Samir in Office Space) is Dr. Chadrabar.
Body Count/Violence: 13. Being a standard cop thriller, this has standard cop thriller violence. Some bloody gunshots and after-the-fact corpses are the norm here, as well as a beating. One particular kill is punctuated by a very obvious dummy being tossed through a window.
Sexuality/Nudity: Sex and S&M fun is implied but not shown. Gugino is shown in her bra & Trilby Glover has her clothes torn at but that’s it. A male corpse’s bare backside is show at a crime scene, if you’re into that sort of deal.
Language/Dialogue: About one thing that can be agreed upon is that both DeNiro & Pacino are involved, vulgarities will be prevalent. Plenty of F-word usage abounds, along with other choice words (Needle Dick?).
How bad was it?:
A Pacino film hasn’t been this universally panned since…well, 88 Minutes! Seriously, the reviews could be used in conjunction with McDonalds’ next promotion. “Find a positive review of Righteous Kill on your next Value Meal and win a free cookie!” Hey, it can’t be a million bucks because the odds would at least be 1 in 75. Regardless, **1/2 is about as glowing as a review can get for this flick.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Overture Films & Millennium Films released the $60 million Righteous Kill on 9/12/08 (a year after principle photography finished) and saw it thud in a typically abysmal, post-Summer weekend in 3rd place with $16.3 million. It dropped out of the top 10 by the end of the month and is currently standing at $38.8 million (with an equally blah $2.9 million overseas gross tacked on, for a total of $41.7 million). This performance, despite mounds of hype ads proclaiming the teaming of the two leads for the first time in thirteen years. Although one can’t blame the studio for shamelessly plugging that angle for all its worth, did they really need to use The Rolling Stones’ “Sympathy for the Devil” during the early TV ads that were put out? C-mon, don’t give the audience’s hopes up by having them wax nostalgic for Scorsese. Some cinematic crimes SHOULD be punishable by law!
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Return of the Kung Fu Dragon
The Action Mutant…
just found out what “Superman” means…and he’ll leave it at that.
Return of the Kung Fu Dragon
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
Seriously, I can’t follow the whole “Superman” thing. If you are unknowing about the “Superman” phenomenon (i.e. if you’re Caucasian), you might want to keep from Googling it. At least this won’t be one internet craze the people at Family Guy will jump on.
The Plot, as it was:
An evil ruler (Tsai Hung) and his army conquer the Kingdom of Phoenix Island, slaughtering the island’s three main warriors in the process. The offspring of the three deceased (Polly Kuan, Cheung Lik & Li Chung-Chien) are hidden away & are allowed to find each other nineteen years later. They team up then to gain revenge and take their land back, as lots of sorcery & swordplay follows.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
The worst thing about Return of the Kung Fu Dragon is not the fact that its title has nothing to do with the film (c-mon, a guy in a stuffed dragon suit emerging from the sea & doing kung fu? Money, baby!). There’s trenchant dubbing, worse editing and the martial arts is not exactly on the level of Yuen Woo-Ping (or a hung over Yuen Woo-Ping…with one arm & a limp). Funny thing is none of those matters, for at merely 83 minutes, RotKFD rolls with all of those horrible, schlock trappings & makes for a fun time killer. A few bizarre touches are worth the mention, such as the running joke involving the evil ruler being constantly subdued by having his Pai Mei style beard always tied into objects, a la shoestrings. Or the Bjork-looking midget (Hsiao Wang) that I swore was an old woman at first & had me confused right up to his (her?) last scene. Fortunately, there was no Crying Game theatrics here. Speaking of theatrics, there are enough elaborate (yet cheap) sets & insanely gaudy costumes to go along with the operatic grandeur the flick builds up. It’s total costume melodrama, with over the top death scenes & corny dialogue galore and enough unnecessary plot twists thrown to show that the effort is there. And the costumes…good gravy, the costumes! One of the male heroes dresses like a centurion you would find in a Vegas casino, a bad guy has a big red bow in his hair & the Bjork midget looks like an Indian that wandered off of the Bonanza set! Everything is thrown into the cauldron for this one (dig the magic mirror & the burning gravel!), which means there are enough crudely imaginative elements to make Return of the Kung Fu Dragon strangely viewable at best. That is, if you’re a hardcore Fu junkie. If you’re a normal person, you might take a pass on it.
Body Count/Violence: 42. Lots of fighting & sword slashing in this one, with it getting bloody only every so often. Plus, there’s neck breaking, stabbing, flesh melting (though not graphic…more like flesh disappearing), hot pebble flinging (!) and more. One of the heroes does an honest-to-God, white man’s rana on a bad guy, which brought a warm smile to my face.
Sexuality/Nudity: None, though I dug Polly Kuan’s (Ma Chen Chen) conflicting time period costuming. Loved the green & white striped knee highs and the gold showgirl outfit!
Language/Dialogue: A few “bastards” and a really slurred “bitch”.
How bad was it?:
Very few reviews from critics on this one…and none that is all too positive. The IMDB feedback was very mixed for what little of it there was, though all of it mentioned the overall cheapness of the production.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Though there is no studio listed, I assume one produced Return of the Kung Fu Dragon. One in Taiwan, which is where this was supposedly made. No budget/box office numbers are available and it is only available on DVD through a Martial Arts box set that includes the first two Street Fighter films & Fighting Mad.
Film: *1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
just found out what “Superman” means…and he’ll leave it at that.
Return of the Kung Fu Dragon
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
Seriously, I can’t follow the whole “Superman” thing. If you are unknowing about the “Superman” phenomenon (i.e. if you’re Caucasian), you might want to keep from Googling it. At least this won’t be one internet craze the people at Family Guy will jump on.
The Plot, as it was:
An evil ruler (Tsai Hung) and his army conquer the Kingdom of Phoenix Island, slaughtering the island’s three main warriors in the process. The offspring of the three deceased (Polly Kuan, Cheung Lik & Li Chung-Chien) are hidden away & are allowed to find each other nineteen years later. They team up then to gain revenge and take their land back, as lots of sorcery & swordplay follows.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
The worst thing about Return of the Kung Fu Dragon is not the fact that its title has nothing to do with the film (c-mon, a guy in a stuffed dragon suit emerging from the sea & doing kung fu? Money, baby!). There’s trenchant dubbing, worse editing and the martial arts is not exactly on the level of Yuen Woo-Ping (or a hung over Yuen Woo-Ping…with one arm & a limp). Funny thing is none of those matters, for at merely 83 minutes, RotKFD rolls with all of those horrible, schlock trappings & makes for a fun time killer. A few bizarre touches are worth the mention, such as the running joke involving the evil ruler being constantly subdued by having his Pai Mei style beard always tied into objects, a la shoestrings. Or the Bjork-looking midget (Hsiao Wang) that I swore was an old woman at first & had me confused right up to his (her?) last scene. Fortunately, there was no Crying Game theatrics here. Speaking of theatrics, there are enough elaborate (yet cheap) sets & insanely gaudy costumes to go along with the operatic grandeur the flick builds up. It’s total costume melodrama, with over the top death scenes & corny dialogue galore and enough unnecessary plot twists thrown to show that the effort is there. And the costumes…good gravy, the costumes! One of the male heroes dresses like a centurion you would find in a Vegas casino, a bad guy has a big red bow in his hair & the Bjork midget looks like an Indian that wandered off of the Bonanza set! Everything is thrown into the cauldron for this one (dig the magic mirror & the burning gravel!), which means there are enough crudely imaginative elements to make Return of the Kung Fu Dragon strangely viewable at best. That is, if you’re a hardcore Fu junkie. If you’re a normal person, you might take a pass on it.
Body Count/Violence: 42. Lots of fighting & sword slashing in this one, with it getting bloody only every so often. Plus, there’s neck breaking, stabbing, flesh melting (though not graphic…more like flesh disappearing), hot pebble flinging (!) and more. One of the heroes does an honest-to-God, white man’s rana on a bad guy, which brought a warm smile to my face.
Sexuality/Nudity: None, though I dug Polly Kuan’s (Ma Chen Chen) conflicting time period costuming. Loved the green & white striped knee highs and the gold showgirl outfit!
Language/Dialogue: A few “bastards” and a really slurred “bitch”.
How bad was it?:
Very few reviews from critics on this one…and none that is all too positive. The IMDB feedback was very mixed for what little of it there was, though all of it mentioned the overall cheapness of the production.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Though there is no studio listed, I assume one produced Return of the Kung Fu Dragon. One in Taiwan, which is where this was supposedly made. No budget/box office numbers are available and it is only available on DVD through a Martial Arts box set that includes the first two Street Fighter films & Fighting Mad.
Film: *1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Day of the Wolves
The Action Mutant…
says “Goodnight, Mr. Walters!” (grumble).
Day of the Wolves
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
"You can only put away so much stuff in your closet". – Paul Newman.
Just gonna say a few quick, belated words about the recently deceased Paul Newman. By all counts, the guy fucking ruled it on screen. Cool Hand Luke is one of my favorite movies of all time; true proof that they don’t make films like that anymore. On the day after his death, I walk into the local FYE and they’re playing Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid. I just catch the infamous “cliff jumping” scene as I walk in and it instantly puts a smile on my face. There aren’t many scenes in film that can manage to be both hilariously twisted & heartwarming at the same time and that’s one of them. The thing I was most impressed with as I was reading up on him (other than being nominated for an Oscar ten times & winning once, for The Color of Money) was his philanthropic side. His “Newman’s Own” sauce company has raked in over $175 million in profits, which were all donated to charities. That’s pretty much a big middle finger to any celebrity that claims they’re charitable after donating a few thou with plenty of cameras around. Can you imagine the difference that would be made in third-world countries if every actor, athlete, millionaire, CEO, musician (Bono) & so called musician (Diddy) that could afford to give up $1 million for charity…would actually do it? This just reiterates my point that all of the great actor/celebrities are dying & there are very few that are worthy to move into place. I said it when Bronson died and I’ll say it now. Paul Newman had balls because he was an Actor’s actor & didn’t need to be surrounded by paparazzo or fall off the wagon like a spectacular, red haired, Herpes laden auto crash/turned Lesbo-cum political pundit (seriously, does anyone give two shits what Linds thinks about John McCain, a person she most likely heard of twenty minutes before having her publicist blog about him?) to gain attention. Face it, (as this film ends up proving) clowns is the real evil in humanity. Don’t believe me? Look at what’s been residing in the White House for the past eight years!
The Plot, as it was:
Jan Murray (History of the World: Part I) plays a bearded criminal mastermind that has seemingly concocted the perfect crime. He has enlisted six ex-cons (all bearded, as well being completely unaware of each other’s backgrounds) to train for the crime: the heisting of the small town of Wellerton! Designating each by number, the leader (No.1, natch) figures that by catching the sleepy town unaware, the gang will knock off the town’s banks & businesses without much trouble (as well as pocket about $50,000 a piece). Meanwhile, the town council just booted Pete Anderson (Richard Egan) from his spot as Sheriff after he busted one of the council member’s kids for reckless driving. Think they’ll have him on speed dial, just in case? Uh-oh!
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Despite sounding like a low rent, Canadian-wilderness adventure, Day of the Wolves is really a very low rent heist picture that is moderately better than that description suggests. Its concept makes it slightly more cerebral & ingratiating than one would expect and that’s the draw here, despite the fact that it’s very uniform in its storytelling & execution (no Reservoir Dogs style backtracking here). Most of it is very straightforward & is more about the buildup, as that takes up about 2/3 of the film’s running time and does a very fair (if unspectacular) job of getting the audience into the act. The cast of mainly amateur, unknown actors does well with the material, as the less melodramatic stuff does come off more like the grassroots filmmaking it is. Old pros Murray & Egan make the most of their roles and bring much needed credibility to the proceedings. Aside from the score by Sean Bonniwell (which is very guitar driven, very 70s & very kickass), the most memorable thing taken from DotW is its ending (Warning: other reviews of the film DO spoil the ending). While it’s not an earth shattering mindfuck of Sleepaway Camp proportions, it does put the previous 90 minutes into perspective & makes for a stellar conclusion (the last shot is priceless, IMO). At the end of the day, Day of the Wolves won’t break any hearts but it will provide a solidly told story & a decent fix for your crime genre gullet.
Body Count/Violence: 2. The low budget does stymie the mayhem somewhat, as the only two dead are done in by shotgun blasts. That particular shotgun battle in the town is actually pretty well done, considering the film’s production values (see below). There are some explosions & a beating or two thrown in but that’s about it. The flick is rated G but (as I’ve always thought) there is slight leeway in the film’s content.
Sexuality/Nudity: None.
Language/Dialogue: Very little. Maybe a “damn”, if that.
How bad was it?:
Most critics give DotW middling reviews & viewer feedback doesn’t go much higher than that. Most seem to agree that the twist at the end is the straw that stirs the drink.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Thought there are no box office receipts to back up if it was a success, Day of the Wolves is certainly an early example of Independent filmmaking. Shot on a shoestring cost of $187,000 in the spring of 1971, DotW was filmed with a non-union crew that was comprised of professional actors & some of the townspeople of Lake Havasu, Arizona. Filmed entirely on location, the film touts the fact that they used live ammo during the gun battle after encountering trouble with the guns firing blanks! That’s hardcore! Day of the Wolves saw a few theaters in 1973 (produced by Balut Productions & released by Goldkey Entertainment) & sank into public domain, as well as some DVD Western compilations. A documentary on the making of the film (Return to Lake Havasu: The Making of ‘Day of the Wolves’) was released in 2008.
Film: **1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
says “Goodnight, Mr. Walters!” (grumble).
Day of the Wolves
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
"You can only put away so much stuff in your closet". – Paul Newman.
Just gonna say a few quick, belated words about the recently deceased Paul Newman. By all counts, the guy fucking ruled it on screen. Cool Hand Luke is one of my favorite movies of all time; true proof that they don’t make films like that anymore. On the day after his death, I walk into the local FYE and they’re playing Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid. I just catch the infamous “cliff jumping” scene as I walk in and it instantly puts a smile on my face. There aren’t many scenes in film that can manage to be both hilariously twisted & heartwarming at the same time and that’s one of them. The thing I was most impressed with as I was reading up on him (other than being nominated for an Oscar ten times & winning once, for The Color of Money) was his philanthropic side. His “Newman’s Own” sauce company has raked in over $175 million in profits, which were all donated to charities. That’s pretty much a big middle finger to any celebrity that claims they’re charitable after donating a few thou with plenty of cameras around. Can you imagine the difference that would be made in third-world countries if every actor, athlete, millionaire, CEO, musician (Bono) & so called musician (Diddy) that could afford to give up $1 million for charity…would actually do it? This just reiterates my point that all of the great actor/celebrities are dying & there are very few that are worthy to move into place. I said it when Bronson died and I’ll say it now. Paul Newman had balls because he was an Actor’s actor & didn’t need to be surrounded by paparazzo or fall off the wagon like a spectacular, red haired, Herpes laden auto crash/turned Lesbo-cum political pundit (seriously, does anyone give two shits what Linds thinks about John McCain, a person she most likely heard of twenty minutes before having her publicist blog about him?) to gain attention. Face it, (as this film ends up proving) clowns is the real evil in humanity. Don’t believe me? Look at what’s been residing in the White House for the past eight years!
The Plot, as it was:
Jan Murray (History of the World: Part I) plays a bearded criminal mastermind that has seemingly concocted the perfect crime. He has enlisted six ex-cons (all bearded, as well being completely unaware of each other’s backgrounds) to train for the crime: the heisting of the small town of Wellerton! Designating each by number, the leader (No.1, natch) figures that by catching the sleepy town unaware, the gang will knock off the town’s banks & businesses without much trouble (as well as pocket about $50,000 a piece). Meanwhile, the town council just booted Pete Anderson (Richard Egan) from his spot as Sheriff after he busted one of the council member’s kids for reckless driving. Think they’ll have him on speed dial, just in case? Uh-oh!
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Despite sounding like a low rent, Canadian-wilderness adventure, Day of the Wolves is really a very low rent heist picture that is moderately better than that description suggests. Its concept makes it slightly more cerebral & ingratiating than one would expect and that’s the draw here, despite the fact that it’s very uniform in its storytelling & execution (no Reservoir Dogs style backtracking here). Most of it is very straightforward & is more about the buildup, as that takes up about 2/3 of the film’s running time and does a very fair (if unspectacular) job of getting the audience into the act. The cast of mainly amateur, unknown actors does well with the material, as the less melodramatic stuff does come off more like the grassroots filmmaking it is. Old pros Murray & Egan make the most of their roles and bring much needed credibility to the proceedings. Aside from the score by Sean Bonniwell (which is very guitar driven, very 70s & very kickass), the most memorable thing taken from DotW is its ending (Warning: other reviews of the film DO spoil the ending). While it’s not an earth shattering mindfuck of Sleepaway Camp proportions, it does put the previous 90 minutes into perspective & makes for a stellar conclusion (the last shot is priceless, IMO). At the end of the day, Day of the Wolves won’t break any hearts but it will provide a solidly told story & a decent fix for your crime genre gullet.
Body Count/Violence: 2. The low budget does stymie the mayhem somewhat, as the only two dead are done in by shotgun blasts. That particular shotgun battle in the town is actually pretty well done, considering the film’s production values (see below). There are some explosions & a beating or two thrown in but that’s about it. The flick is rated G but (as I’ve always thought) there is slight leeway in the film’s content.
Sexuality/Nudity: None.
Language/Dialogue: Very little. Maybe a “damn”, if that.
How bad was it?:
Most critics give DotW middling reviews & viewer feedback doesn’t go much higher than that. Most seem to agree that the twist at the end is the straw that stirs the drink.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Thought there are no box office receipts to back up if it was a success, Day of the Wolves is certainly an early example of Independent filmmaking. Shot on a shoestring cost of $187,000 in the spring of 1971, DotW was filmed with a non-union crew that was comprised of professional actors & some of the townspeople of Lake Havasu, Arizona. Filmed entirely on location, the film touts the fact that they used live ammo during the gun battle after encountering trouble with the guns firing blanks! That’s hardcore! Day of the Wolves saw a few theaters in 1973 (produced by Balut Productions & released by Goldkey Entertainment) & sank into public domain, as well as some DVD Western compilations. A documentary on the making of the film (Return to Lake Havasu: The Making of ‘Day of the Wolves’) was released in 2008.
Film: **1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
Monday, October 6, 2008
The Prodigal Son
The Action Mutant…
and Boom Goes the Dynamite!
The Prodigal Son
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
In looking through many writings, opinions and out-and-out drudgery, there’s one thing I notice when it comes to criticisms of Action films…there’s very little Yuen Biao love! Out of the famed “Three Brothers” that originated in Hong Kong, Biao is the one that is rarely ever praised or even heard of. Of course, Jackie Chan is praised, exalted, worshiped and over-praised to no end (many times, here in these very scribes). The same is true with Sammo, although to a lesser degree in America after the failure of Martial Law. But Yuen has always been the distant third when it comes to relevancy amongst the Three Brothers. In The Essential Jackie Chan Sourcebook, more than one time is it mentioned that Yuen is shuffled off into the background, while Sammo & Jackie (well, mostly Jackie) take center stage (either seemingly by design or by happenstance). Despite an incredible amount of athleticism that is near that or equal to his two contemporaries, Biao has never been able to grab the attention that Sammo or Jackie has had at one point or another. With that knowledge, I take this to you, dear reader: let today be known as Yuen Biao Love Day! Go onto your message boards, chat rooms, forums, places of work, eat & play and profess your Yuen Biao Love! This particular film I’m reviewing here will make that proclamation a lot easier to make, too! (Note: You can still profess your Sammo Hung & Jackie Chan Love, as well. In fact, declare one day Hung Love Day. You will get a giggle, even if it’s just from yourself.).
The Plot, as it was:
Yuen Biao stars as Leung Chang, the most unbeatable street fighter in Canton…at least, that’s what he’s lead to believe. Turns out his father has been paying people princely sums of money to take dives for his son so he doesn’t get hurt. A run in with an opera actor named Leung Yee Tai (Ching-Ying Lam) leaves Chang embarrassed & wanting the actor’s guidance as his teacher. Yee Tai continuously refuses, leaving Chang to seek training from Yee Tai’s bumbling brother Wong Wah Bo (Hung) instead. Meanwhile, Lord Ngai Fai (Frankie Chan) is looking to prove himself against the best fighter there is but is also protected because of his status. Through complicated circumstances, Ngai & Chang will fight each other for pride (and eventually, revenge).
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Even though Yuen Biao’s a pretty big element to the success of The Prodigal Son, there are a few other key ones that make it better than the usual kung fu collaboration. The multi-collaborative fight choreography of Biao, Hung, Lam, Billy Chan & Guy Lai is the main jewel, as the fights are steeped in the old school but still very fluid & impact filled. The sensibility may be steeped in the past but the fights are so crisply done that is shouldn’t scare away fans expecting all kinds of crazy mugging & insane falls (yes, kids…Jackie’s nowhere in sight…and that’s ok!). One of the film’s better aspects is its plotting & characterization, which are almost foreign words in a great deal of “chop socky” fare. The story is set up in such a way that the main characters’ motivations are ideal and not just simplistic “good v. evil” stuff. Both Chang & Ngai’s goals appeal to a wide audience and that leads to them not being classified as standard heroes or villains. It might be complicated stuff to those just looking for the fights but those looking for more meat in the frame work will be pleasantly surprised. Biao & Lam provide plenty of fun moments that are interspersed with the more serious overtones but when Hung shows up for his small role, the movie kind of grinds to a halt for a bit. The scenes featuring Hung on his own (while funny in their own right) take away from the flick’s momentum for a while & almost leave it in danger of becoming too goofy. However, the rails get righted in time for a stellar final fight, which helps put The Prodigal Son in classic company that is comparable to Hung’s earlier masterwork, Magnificent Butcher.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- James Tien, who was a regular in many Bruce Lee films (Fists of Fury, The Chinese Connection and Game of Death), is the street opponent for Lord Ngai.
Body Count/Violence: 16. The potent fights are the draw but there is enough blood & mayhem for The Prodigal Son to justify its R rating (as sometimes, the ratings for Martial Arts films are questionable at best). The crazy fight scenes, which include lots of heady falls & furniture breakage, are accompanied by throat slashing, a pair of beheadings, arm breaking, swordplay, stabbing, fire use, etc. The fights include more blood than one may expect, including a pretty nasty, blood splattering headbutt during the end fight.
Sexuality/Nudity: None.
Language/Dialogue: Hardly any, though Wong does call someone a “fag” at one point. It is largely know that gay slurs don’t carry the same heft in Asian entertainment as they do here.
How bad was it?:
There’s nothing but a unanimous vote of approval for this film, as far as the critics are concerned. It recieved lots of glowing praise, as well as a few even calling it a modern Martial Arts classic. No arguments here.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Golden Harvest released The Prodigal Son on 12/22/81, with the film grossing $9.2 million HK in a three week run. It is available on DVD through Tai Seng or on the 20th Century Fox/Fortune Star label.
Film: ***1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ****1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
and Boom Goes the Dynamite!
The Prodigal Son
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
In looking through many writings, opinions and out-and-out drudgery, there’s one thing I notice when it comes to criticisms of Action films…there’s very little Yuen Biao love! Out of the famed “Three Brothers” that originated in Hong Kong, Biao is the one that is rarely ever praised or even heard of. Of course, Jackie Chan is praised, exalted, worshiped and over-praised to no end (many times, here in these very scribes). The same is true with Sammo, although to a lesser degree in America after the failure of Martial Law. But Yuen has always been the distant third when it comes to relevancy amongst the Three Brothers. In The Essential Jackie Chan Sourcebook, more than one time is it mentioned that Yuen is shuffled off into the background, while Sammo & Jackie (well, mostly Jackie) take center stage (either seemingly by design or by happenstance). Despite an incredible amount of athleticism that is near that or equal to his two contemporaries, Biao has never been able to grab the attention that Sammo or Jackie has had at one point or another. With that knowledge, I take this to you, dear reader: let today be known as Yuen Biao Love Day! Go onto your message boards, chat rooms, forums, places of work, eat & play and profess your Yuen Biao Love! This particular film I’m reviewing here will make that proclamation a lot easier to make, too! (Note: You can still profess your Sammo Hung & Jackie Chan Love, as well. In fact, declare one day Hung Love Day. You will get a giggle, even if it’s just from yourself.).
The Plot, as it was:
Yuen Biao stars as Leung Chang, the most unbeatable street fighter in Canton…at least, that’s what he’s lead to believe. Turns out his father has been paying people princely sums of money to take dives for his son so he doesn’t get hurt. A run in with an opera actor named Leung Yee Tai (Ching-Ying Lam) leaves Chang embarrassed & wanting the actor’s guidance as his teacher. Yee Tai continuously refuses, leaving Chang to seek training from Yee Tai’s bumbling brother Wong Wah Bo (Hung) instead. Meanwhile, Lord Ngai Fai (Frankie Chan) is looking to prove himself against the best fighter there is but is also protected because of his status. Through complicated circumstances, Ngai & Chang will fight each other for pride (and eventually, revenge).
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Even though Yuen Biao’s a pretty big element to the success of The Prodigal Son, there are a few other key ones that make it better than the usual kung fu collaboration. The multi-collaborative fight choreography of Biao, Hung, Lam, Billy Chan & Guy Lai is the main jewel, as the fights are steeped in the old school but still very fluid & impact filled. The sensibility may be steeped in the past but the fights are so crisply done that is shouldn’t scare away fans expecting all kinds of crazy mugging & insane falls (yes, kids…Jackie’s nowhere in sight…and that’s ok!). One of the film’s better aspects is its plotting & characterization, which are almost foreign words in a great deal of “chop socky” fare. The story is set up in such a way that the main characters’ motivations are ideal and not just simplistic “good v. evil” stuff. Both Chang & Ngai’s goals appeal to a wide audience and that leads to them not being classified as standard heroes or villains. It might be complicated stuff to those just looking for the fights but those looking for more meat in the frame work will be pleasantly surprised. Biao & Lam provide plenty of fun moments that are interspersed with the more serious overtones but when Hung shows up for his small role, the movie kind of grinds to a halt for a bit. The scenes featuring Hung on his own (while funny in their own right) take away from the flick’s momentum for a while & almost leave it in danger of becoming too goofy. However, the rails get righted in time for a stellar final fight, which helps put The Prodigal Son in classic company that is comparable to Hung’s earlier masterwork, Magnificent Butcher.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- James Tien, who was a regular in many Bruce Lee films (Fists of Fury, The Chinese Connection and Game of Death), is the street opponent for Lord Ngai.
Body Count/Violence: 16. The potent fights are the draw but there is enough blood & mayhem for The Prodigal Son to justify its R rating (as sometimes, the ratings for Martial Arts films are questionable at best). The crazy fight scenes, which include lots of heady falls & furniture breakage, are accompanied by throat slashing, a pair of beheadings, arm breaking, swordplay, stabbing, fire use, etc. The fights include more blood than one may expect, including a pretty nasty, blood splattering headbutt during the end fight.
Sexuality/Nudity: None.
Language/Dialogue: Hardly any, though Wong does call someone a “fag” at one point. It is largely know that gay slurs don’t carry the same heft in Asian entertainment as they do here.
How bad was it?:
There’s nothing but a unanimous vote of approval for this film, as far as the critics are concerned. It recieved lots of glowing praise, as well as a few even calling it a modern Martial Arts classic. No arguments here.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Golden Harvest released The Prodigal Son on 12/22/81, with the film grossing $9.2 million HK in a three week run. It is available on DVD through Tai Seng or on the 20th Century Fox/Fortune Star label.
Film: ***1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ****1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Killing Streets
The Action Mutant…
says when the streets run red with blood, only then will the violence end.
Killing Streets
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
Here’s a new one for ya: The Action Mutant was censored on MySpace! During my recent inducting of photos on the TAM MySpace page, I put up a photo of Lisa Eichhorn (Opposing Force). It was from a play she did (entitled The Women of Lockerbie), in which her blouse was torn open and she was splattered with blood. It wasn't as nearly as bad as it sounds & I felt it conveyed the overall attitude that I try to convey in the writings. Of course, they stated that it was offensive and that “people as young as 13 visit MySpace pages”, which is funny because the age limit for an account there is supposed to be 14 & we all know how much luck the site has had in keeping track of real ages. Anyway, I put a tamer pic up but here is the original pic for all to see. You tell me if it’s a big deal to you. Now, on to bigger issues…like twin basketball players let loose in Lebanon! Is that Golan I smell burning on the stove?
The Plot, as it was:
Michael Paré (Streets of Fire, Eddie and the Cruisers) plays Chris Brandt, an Ohio high school basketball coach that’s told his twin brother Craig (also Paré) was killed during a covert operation in Beirut. Chris isn’t buying that load of goods so he decides to go to Lebanon himself & look for answers. Chris’ arrival is met with resistance from the U.S. Embassy, namely secretary Sandra Ross (Jennifer Runyon) and head man Charlie Wolff (Lorenzo Lamas). However, Chris finds out that his bro is being held captive with other hostages by Kasmullah militant Abdel (Alon Abutbul) & his regime. Aided by a legend spouting cabbie named Gilad (Gabi Amrani), Chris goes on the warpath & will not stop until his brother (and…oh yes, the hostages) is free.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
The one fatal flaw within the Menahem Golan produced Killing Streets is that it actually tries to be serious. And if other Actioners involving twin lead characters (Double Impact, Double Trouble and Twin Dragons) have taught us anything, it’s that you can’t take them seriously. Unlike the three I just mentioned, the twins in Killing Streets are put against the backdrop of 1984 Beirut (filmed in Israel, actually), which is akin to putting The Wiggles in a Rob Zombie film (Note to self: Put in idea folder. Double Note to self: get attorney to talk to Norm MacDonald). Writers Stephen Cornwell & Andrew Deutsch try to add some messages to the fray but they usually fall along the usual jingoism of “Militants; bad. America; good. Um…USA! USA! USA!” Even when things come close to resonating (as with the subplot involving a young militant named Yahzi, played with conviction by Ishai Wureit), they don’t fully come together because they collide with the elements that make this pure escapism. The sad part is even those elements don’t inject the right amount of life into the film. Since Paré gets to play twins, he also gets to give two overly wooden performances. Flickers of earnestness permeate his actions at times but he often comes off as just too bland for an Action lead. It’s Lamas that hits parody-like levels as the CIA agent, sporting a Texan drawl that is a dead ringer for pro wrestler John Bradshaw Layfield. Seriously, watch this video of JBL and just imagine Lorenzo Lamas talking EXACTLY like that! Shudder-inducing, no? At least that train wreck provides some interest, which cannot be said for the majority of the film. Despite some goodwill in the form of Amrani providing light comic relief as the cabbie & a pretty decent car chase in the middle, Killing Streets lumbers along from one sequence to the next in fairly drab fashion. The final twenty minutes take the film from slightly ridiculous to horrendously bad, as the main resolution & finale involving a Lebanese informant (Menahem Einy) provide some laughable, head scratching moments. By the time the final credits rolled, I couldn’t help but think how entertaining this would have been if Chuck Norris was thrown in as the lead & all notices of pretension had been thrown out.
Body Count/Violence: 42. Things are actually pretty slow on the dead body front until the final third, where mucho soldiers are blown away with equally mucho bloody gunfire. Along with the car chase, fighting, explosions & stabbing, there’s actually a pretty sweet skull bashing scene that would have worked even better had Uncle Menachem handed out 3-D glasses during it.
Sexuality/Nudity: Two very brief tit shots by Runyon & Rahely Chimeyan during two very brief sexual scenes. Nothing to froth up about.
Language/Dialogue: Occasionally strong but not often.
How bad was it?:
It was nearly impossible to dig up any critical response for the film but the feedback on IMDB was not very complimentary, to say the least. Some say it was just overlong & boring, while others stated it was just very bad.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Golan’s 21st Century Picture Corporation released Killing Streets on video in the States on 10/23/91. No budget or box office records were ever made public.
Film: *1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
says when the streets run red with blood, only then will the violence end.
Killing Streets
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
Here’s a new one for ya: The Action Mutant was censored on MySpace! During my recent inducting of photos on the TAM MySpace page, I put up a photo of Lisa Eichhorn (Opposing Force). It was from a play she did (entitled The Women of Lockerbie), in which her blouse was torn open and she was splattered with blood. It wasn't as nearly as bad as it sounds & I felt it conveyed the overall attitude that I try to convey in the writings. Of course, they stated that it was offensive and that “people as young as 13 visit MySpace pages”, which is funny because the age limit for an account there is supposed to be 14 & we all know how much luck the site has had in keeping track of real ages. Anyway, I put a tamer pic up but here is the original pic for all to see. You tell me if it’s a big deal to you. Now, on to bigger issues…like twin basketball players let loose in Lebanon! Is that Golan I smell burning on the stove?
The Plot, as it was:
Michael Paré (Streets of Fire, Eddie and the Cruisers) plays Chris Brandt, an Ohio high school basketball coach that’s told his twin brother Craig (also Paré) was killed during a covert operation in Beirut. Chris isn’t buying that load of goods so he decides to go to Lebanon himself & look for answers. Chris’ arrival is met with resistance from the U.S. Embassy, namely secretary Sandra Ross (Jennifer Runyon) and head man Charlie Wolff (Lorenzo Lamas). However, Chris finds out that his bro is being held captive with other hostages by Kasmullah militant Abdel (Alon Abutbul) & his regime. Aided by a legend spouting cabbie named Gilad (Gabi Amrani), Chris goes on the warpath & will not stop until his brother (and…oh yes, the hostages) is free.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
The one fatal flaw within the Menahem Golan produced Killing Streets is that it actually tries to be serious. And if other Actioners involving twin lead characters (Double Impact, Double Trouble and Twin Dragons) have taught us anything, it’s that you can’t take them seriously. Unlike the three I just mentioned, the twins in Killing Streets are put against the backdrop of 1984 Beirut (filmed in Israel, actually), which is akin to putting The Wiggles in a Rob Zombie film (Note to self: Put in idea folder. Double Note to self: get attorney to talk to Norm MacDonald). Writers Stephen Cornwell & Andrew Deutsch try to add some messages to the fray but they usually fall along the usual jingoism of “Militants; bad. America; good. Um…USA! USA! USA!” Even when things come close to resonating (as with the subplot involving a young militant named Yahzi, played with conviction by Ishai Wureit), they don’t fully come together because they collide with the elements that make this pure escapism. The sad part is even those elements don’t inject the right amount of life into the film. Since Paré gets to play twins, he also gets to give two overly wooden performances. Flickers of earnestness permeate his actions at times but he often comes off as just too bland for an Action lead. It’s Lamas that hits parody-like levels as the CIA agent, sporting a Texan drawl that is a dead ringer for pro wrestler John Bradshaw Layfield. Seriously, watch this video of JBL and just imagine Lorenzo Lamas talking EXACTLY like that! Shudder-inducing, no? At least that train wreck provides some interest, which cannot be said for the majority of the film. Despite some goodwill in the form of Amrani providing light comic relief as the cabbie & a pretty decent car chase in the middle, Killing Streets lumbers along from one sequence to the next in fairly drab fashion. The final twenty minutes take the film from slightly ridiculous to horrendously bad, as the main resolution & finale involving a Lebanese informant (Menahem Einy) provide some laughable, head scratching moments. By the time the final credits rolled, I couldn’t help but think how entertaining this would have been if Chuck Norris was thrown in as the lead & all notices of pretension had been thrown out.
Body Count/Violence: 42. Things are actually pretty slow on the dead body front until the final third, where mucho soldiers are blown away with equally mucho bloody gunfire. Along with the car chase, fighting, explosions & stabbing, there’s actually a pretty sweet skull bashing scene that would have worked even better had Uncle Menachem handed out 3-D glasses during it.
Sexuality/Nudity: Two very brief tit shots by Runyon & Rahely Chimeyan during two very brief sexual scenes. Nothing to froth up about.
Language/Dialogue: Occasionally strong but not often.
How bad was it?:
It was nearly impossible to dig up any critical response for the film but the feedback on IMDB was not very complimentary, to say the least. Some say it was just overlong & boring, while others stated it was just very bad.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Golan’s 21st Century Picture Corporation released Killing Streets on video in the States on 10/23/91. No budget or box office records were ever made public.
Film: *1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Black Fist
The Action Mutant…
thinks “Albino Fist” won’t float in today’s film market.
Black Fist
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
In lieu of anything new to write, here’s a reminder that the new TAM Hall of Fame class will be put up soon. Those that were passed over during the first inductions and those featured in films I’ve reviewed since then will be considered. Then, they will get the prestigious honor of being included in an online photo folder with strange pics of other people. It’s as prestigious as it sounds. Just like the Oscars (and here, we forsake the three hours of musical & comedy numbers for YOU, the reader!).
On a more serious note, I would like to send out my condolences to Francine Fournier (pro wrestling valet and MySpace friend on the TAM page), who lost her father & older sister to cancer within days of each other. I have seen people in my own family lose battles with cancer & I can only imagine what its like to lose two loved ones within a matter of days. If anyone reads this, please send her a kind word. Keep her & her family in your thoughts and prayers in this trying time.
The Plot, as it was:
Richard Lawson plays Leroy Fisk, a black street tough out looking to make some money by street fighting for white gangster Logan (Robert Burr). After proving himself, Fisk starts getting static from crooked, racist cop Heineken (Dabney Coleman), who expects Fisk to play ball and give him his cut of the winnings. Fisk continues to buck the system so the mob responds by blowing him up his car…only, his pregnant wife is in the car instead of him when said blowing up takes place. In short, some honkies are about to die horrible, horrible deaths!
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Though it doesn’t turn the genre on its ear or anything (think Hard Times crossed with Death Wish, with a predominately African American cast), Black Fist is moderately better than its low budget, Blaxpoitation pedigree would have you believe. Though it has all of the trappings you would expect a flick like it to have (dated dialogue, bad editing, etc.), it has a few good things going for it. Lawson (sounding like Jules from Pulp Fiction at times) gives a game performance & is better than your usual B-Movie leading man is in a low grade effort. Of course, most of the choice lines & scenes go to Coleman, as he’s about as smarmy as smarmy can get. If there was an Oscar back then for “Best Portrayal of a Redneck/Racist cop in a Blaxpoitation feature”, ol’ Dabney would have won it hands down here! His mere presence elevates things when they begin to slow down, which admittedly happens before the key tragedy kicks in. As the main villain, Burr is more ordinary & atypical of a BX-poitation baddie and the other thugs fall in that same line. That distinction may still be better than Phillip Michael Thomas’ (Tubbs in the iconic TV series Miami Vice), who has the honor of giving TWO distinctly overblown performances (as best friend Fletch & pimp Boom Boom). The flick also has some decent fight scenes going for it, as they aren’t overblown & are more grounded than one would expect. Everything goes pretty uniformly until the end, which is definitely a memorable curveball to say the least. Suffice to say, the ending is one of the few unexpected touches that makes Black Fist a pretty watchable time killer.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- Pro Wrestlers Hardboiled Haggerty (Battle Creek Brawl) and Pak Song (billed as “Pak Son” here) appear as street fighters. There’s one in the credits listed simply as “Earl”, who somewhat resembles Earl Maynard (the Jamaican fighter from BCB) but I can’t say for sure that it’s the same man.
Body Count/Violence: 10. It’s a film that’s partly about street fighting so it’s a safe bet there’s gonna be some brawling going on. It’s not terribly bloody, with the messiest thing being Moose (Haggerty) getting his head rammed through a car window. There are also some explosions, after-the-fact-deaths and a gunshot to the head but the fights are the obvious draw.
Sexuality/Nudity: Two topless scenes, one gratuitous one by a nameless white chick & one during an attempted rape scene. Women are slapped around quite a bit in this one, which is likely to turn off today’s politically correct audiences.
Language/Dialogue: Pretty crude actually, with more than a few racial slurs thrown in with the strong profanity.
How bad was it?:
Not much on the critical front, as the positive response was slightly more prevalent than the negative. Lawson & Coleman definitely got most of the raves.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Centaur Films distributed Black Fist in America & released it in February of 1975. No budget or box office figures are known for it. It is available on several public domain sites and can be bought for cheap on DVD (though picture quality may differ, depending on the video distributor).
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
thinks “Albino Fist” won’t float in today’s film market.
Black Fist
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
In lieu of anything new to write, here’s a reminder that the new TAM Hall of Fame class will be put up soon. Those that were passed over during the first inductions and those featured in films I’ve reviewed since then will be considered. Then, they will get the prestigious honor of being included in an online photo folder with strange pics of other people. It’s as prestigious as it sounds. Just like the Oscars (and here, we forsake the three hours of musical & comedy numbers for YOU, the reader!).
On a more serious note, I would like to send out my condolences to Francine Fournier (pro wrestling valet and MySpace friend on the TAM page), who lost her father & older sister to cancer within days of each other. I have seen people in my own family lose battles with cancer & I can only imagine what its like to lose two loved ones within a matter of days. If anyone reads this, please send her a kind word. Keep her & her family in your thoughts and prayers in this trying time.
The Plot, as it was:
Richard Lawson plays Leroy Fisk, a black street tough out looking to make some money by street fighting for white gangster Logan (Robert Burr). After proving himself, Fisk starts getting static from crooked, racist cop Heineken (Dabney Coleman), who expects Fisk to play ball and give him his cut of the winnings. Fisk continues to buck the system so the mob responds by blowing him up his car…only, his pregnant wife is in the car instead of him when said blowing up takes place. In short, some honkies are about to die horrible, horrible deaths!
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Though it doesn’t turn the genre on its ear or anything (think Hard Times crossed with Death Wish, with a predominately African American cast), Black Fist is moderately better than its low budget, Blaxpoitation pedigree would have you believe. Though it has all of the trappings you would expect a flick like it to have (dated dialogue, bad editing, etc.), it has a few good things going for it. Lawson (sounding like Jules from Pulp Fiction at times) gives a game performance & is better than your usual B-Movie leading man is in a low grade effort. Of course, most of the choice lines & scenes go to Coleman, as he’s about as smarmy as smarmy can get. If there was an Oscar back then for “Best Portrayal of a Redneck/Racist cop in a Blaxpoitation feature”, ol’ Dabney would have won it hands down here! His mere presence elevates things when they begin to slow down, which admittedly happens before the key tragedy kicks in. As the main villain, Burr is more ordinary & atypical of a BX-poitation baddie and the other thugs fall in that same line. That distinction may still be better than Phillip Michael Thomas’ (Tubbs in the iconic TV series Miami Vice), who has the honor of giving TWO distinctly overblown performances (as best friend Fletch & pimp Boom Boom). The flick also has some decent fight scenes going for it, as they aren’t overblown & are more grounded than one would expect. Everything goes pretty uniformly until the end, which is definitely a memorable curveball to say the least. Suffice to say, the ending is one of the few unexpected touches that makes Black Fist a pretty watchable time killer.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- Pro Wrestlers Hardboiled Haggerty (Battle Creek Brawl) and Pak Song (billed as “Pak Son” here) appear as street fighters. There’s one in the credits listed simply as “Earl”, who somewhat resembles Earl Maynard (the Jamaican fighter from BCB) but I can’t say for sure that it’s the same man.
Body Count/Violence: 10. It’s a film that’s partly about street fighting so it’s a safe bet there’s gonna be some brawling going on. It’s not terribly bloody, with the messiest thing being Moose (Haggerty) getting his head rammed through a car window. There are also some explosions, after-the-fact-deaths and a gunshot to the head but the fights are the obvious draw.
Sexuality/Nudity: Two topless scenes, one gratuitous one by a nameless white chick & one during an attempted rape scene. Women are slapped around quite a bit in this one, which is likely to turn off today’s politically correct audiences.
Language/Dialogue: Pretty crude actually, with more than a few racial slurs thrown in with the strong profanity.
How bad was it?:
Not much on the critical front, as the positive response was slightly more prevalent than the negative. Lawson & Coleman definitely got most of the raves.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Centaur Films distributed Black Fist in America & released it in February of 1975. No budget or box office figures are known for it. It is available on several public domain sites and can be bought for cheap on DVD (though picture quality may differ, depending on the video distributor).
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
Friday, September 12, 2008
The Head Hunter
The Action Mutant…
swore this film was going to be about Samoan wrestlers.
The Head Hunter
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
I read the greatest book ever the other day and my only complaint is that someone else (namely me) didn’t come up with it first. Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal is written by Ain’t It Cool News reviewer Vern & goes through the big man’s entire film career (from Above the Law to his most recent Pistol Whipped). Each film is dissected by Vern to reveal not only some pretty groovy facts (in Hard to Kill, its noted in the script that Seagal’s Mason Storm has a tape of Chuck Mangione’s “Feels So Good” on his car’s tape deck, showing it wasn’t just a random tape from the prop dept.) but some of the recurring Zen philosophy in his films. It’s also funny as all fuck, too (check out an excerpt here, reviewing Seagal’s first music album). Well, I guess I better get started on that Dolph Lundgren retrospective before someone beats me to that.
The Plot, as it was:
Chow Yun-Fat stars as Nguyen, a pyro guy for a movie studio that is also a hitman on the side (Note: dream life!). He’s been a contract killer ever since his stint in Vietnam & hopes to bring his family to Hong Kong one day (as they are still in Vietnamese exile). Nguyen develops a relationship with news reporter Vicky Lee (Rosamund Kwan), who is on the trail of people responsible for a string of deaths involving toxic nerve agents that were originally used in the war. She traces them to Nguyen’s boss, so Nguyen gets the order to off his girl & he understandably has his doubts. Along with holding a damaging secret from Vicky, Nguyen is also pursued Kim Tai-Yung, a soldier Nguyen left for dead in the war and now has an axe to grind (and a machete to swing).
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
The Head Hunter (or The Long Goodbye in some circles, not to be confused with Altman’s classic) would have been better if it were infused with some John Woo in the director’s chair & an increase in skill level in…oh, just about every area there is. To be fair, a youngish Yun-Fat does his usual serviceable work with a subpar script & the film certainly picks up when an action scene comes about. It’s obvious the filmmakers were going for an epic Actioner, as many flashbacks (complete with orange-tinted film), dream sequences & allusions to Vietnam are incorporated. However, the editing & lighting is pretty bad and the stock characters & plotting do not help much. The plot is somewhat ambitious & tries to tackle other subplots but it all ends up muddled & lacking. The action is the sole saving grace at times, as its not Woo-level chaos but its well done in its low budget standards. As it stands though, The Head Hunter isn’t too much better than the schlock Chuck Norris would be putting out a few years from this (though it is cheaper to find).
Body Count/Violence: 24. Though titled The Head Hunter, only two decapitations are offered up within the flick. There’s bloody shooting, stabbing, fighting, suffocation, impaling, grenades & explosions and gassing. Not as gory as Yun-Fat’s later efforts with Woo but it works.
Sexuality/Nudity: There are two sex scenes and though the one with Yun-Fat is pretty steamy, nothing is shown in either. A woman is also hung with her arms splayed out & is partially nude but nothing’s really seen.
Language/Dialogue: Not much at all, with only one “bastard” and not much else.
How bad was it?:
There’s not much to go by from either critics or moviegoers but what’s out there isn’t very complementary. The highest praise was middling at best and most other comments stated that even diehard Yun-Fat fans may have their difficulty watching this.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Seasonal Film Corporation released The Head Hunter in HK theaters on 3/25/82 & it made $4.2 million HK in a typically short run. It never saw any American theaters (that I know of) & is available on DVD under this title and its alternate English title, The Long Goodbye.
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
swore this film was going to be about Samoan wrestlers.
The Head Hunter
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
I read the greatest book ever the other day and my only complaint is that someone else (namely me) didn’t come up with it first. Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal is written by Ain’t It Cool News reviewer Vern & goes through the big man’s entire film career (from Above the Law to his most recent Pistol Whipped). Each film is dissected by Vern to reveal not only some pretty groovy facts (in Hard to Kill, its noted in the script that Seagal’s Mason Storm has a tape of Chuck Mangione’s “Feels So Good” on his car’s tape deck, showing it wasn’t just a random tape from the prop dept.) but some of the recurring Zen philosophy in his films. It’s also funny as all fuck, too (check out an excerpt here, reviewing Seagal’s first music album). Well, I guess I better get started on that Dolph Lundgren retrospective before someone beats me to that.
The Plot, as it was:
Chow Yun-Fat stars as Nguyen, a pyro guy for a movie studio that is also a hitman on the side (Note: dream life!). He’s been a contract killer ever since his stint in Vietnam & hopes to bring his family to Hong Kong one day (as they are still in Vietnamese exile). Nguyen develops a relationship with news reporter Vicky Lee (Rosamund Kwan), who is on the trail of people responsible for a string of deaths involving toxic nerve agents that were originally used in the war. She traces them to Nguyen’s boss, so Nguyen gets the order to off his girl & he understandably has his doubts. Along with holding a damaging secret from Vicky, Nguyen is also pursued Kim Tai-Yung, a soldier Nguyen left for dead in the war and now has an axe to grind (and a machete to swing).
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
The Head Hunter (or The Long Goodbye in some circles, not to be confused with Altman’s classic) would have been better if it were infused with some John Woo in the director’s chair & an increase in skill level in…oh, just about every area there is. To be fair, a youngish Yun-Fat does his usual serviceable work with a subpar script & the film certainly picks up when an action scene comes about. It’s obvious the filmmakers were going for an epic Actioner, as many flashbacks (complete with orange-tinted film), dream sequences & allusions to Vietnam are incorporated. However, the editing & lighting is pretty bad and the stock characters & plotting do not help much. The plot is somewhat ambitious & tries to tackle other subplots but it all ends up muddled & lacking. The action is the sole saving grace at times, as its not Woo-level chaos but its well done in its low budget standards. As it stands though, The Head Hunter isn’t too much better than the schlock Chuck Norris would be putting out a few years from this (though it is cheaper to find).
Body Count/Violence: 24. Though titled The Head Hunter, only two decapitations are offered up within the flick. There’s bloody shooting, stabbing, fighting, suffocation, impaling, grenades & explosions and gassing. Not as gory as Yun-Fat’s later efforts with Woo but it works.
Sexuality/Nudity: There are two sex scenes and though the one with Yun-Fat is pretty steamy, nothing is shown in either. A woman is also hung with her arms splayed out & is partially nude but nothing’s really seen.
Language/Dialogue: Not much at all, with only one “bastard” and not much else.
How bad was it?:
There’s not much to go by from either critics or moviegoers but what’s out there isn’t very complementary. The highest praise was middling at best and most other comments stated that even diehard Yun-Fat fans may have their difficulty watching this.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Seasonal Film Corporation released The Head Hunter in HK theaters on 3/25/82 & it made $4.2 million HK in a typically short run. It never saw any American theaters (that I know of) & is available on DVD under this title and its alternate English title, The Long Goodbye.
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Pulp Fiction
The Action Mutant…
comes from the country of What (where they, in fact, speak Swahili).
Pulp Fiction
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
As with most likely millions of film geeks everywhere, Pulp Fiction was one of the seminal films of my cinematic upbringing. Sure, I watched films before. I was curious about them and wanted to know more about them. But, it took something like Quentin Tarantino’s neo-masterpiece to make me start reading about film; dissecting it and looking at it as more than a Sunday afternoon diversion. It isn’t the best film ever but its status as a cultural phenomenon has rarely been equaled in time.
However, Pulp didn’t completely change the landscape for the better. Like Nirvana did to Hair bands & All in the Family did to wholesome, family sitcoms, Pulp Fiction & its jut-jawed creator killed off the dominance of the Action film at the American box office. As mentioned on other sites, one of the main reasons people were so drawn to PF was that it was totally aware of the universe that it was cultivated from. When Jules Winnfield admits that his patented “Ezekiel 25:17” speech was “just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before you popped a cap in his ass”, he should definitely know it is…because QT lifted it straight from the Sonny Chiba vehicle The Bodyguard! Before, movie characters lived in their own universes and if things were said that you have heard hundreds of times before, it was never admitted and life went on. However, Tarantino eats, drinks, shits, pisses and sweats film daily and he was more than willing to let that show in his films. With that, his characters were quick to admit that Bronson & John Wayne were their inspirations in life. Pulp Fiction (and Tarantino’s earlier Reservoir Dogs) fully embraced all of the macho bullshit and camaraderie of Action films with a wink at the audience…and their straight-laced Action equivalents weren’t invited for the ride. Don’t believe me? Look at the drop-off of production from Hollywood’s elite Action stars after Pulp Fiction made itself known:
Seagal: Had a few more decent box office performances but soon fell into the direct-to-DVD trap, where he resides today.
Van Damme: see Seagal.
Bronson: Got old, did made-for-TV movies and died. Kind of depressing, so let’s move on.
Willis: Interestingly, this film was the catalyst of him becoming an actual actor, due to him taking a lesser role here after a string of box office disappointments. His mix of eclectic projects has kept him going.
Schwarzenegger: Managed to stay relevant through family comedies & effects laden Actioners. Was somehow deemed the least inept of hundreds of candidates to become Governor of a so-called “state”.
Stallone: Career went down the toilet and only came back over a decade later when he took his two most prized creations & updated them for the modern day.
Snipes: He isn’t Wesley Snipes anymore. If the IRS comes calling, say hello to Miguel Sanchez!
See, these guys either had to update themselves to stay on top or get run over along the way. People were tired of the usual “saving the world, no challenge involved” Action films that were becoming commonplace, so it was refreshing to see a genre film (in a sense, as it has many of the same elements) that had moments that were treated to be trivial as if it were an episode of Seinfeld. Simply put, Pulp Fiction was something fresh in an era that (many felt) was in need of tweaking. It is a little bittersweet that it seemingly took down many careers with it (ironic, considering it made & re-made its share of careers) but it’s not as if Action films ceased to exist afterwards. Many are pointing to a slight renaissance in the genre during the 2000s & even the much maligned direct-to-DVD market has its moments. And as for its inclusion here? Well, you can’t discuss Jesse James if you don’t bring up Robert Ford, right?
The Plot, as it was:
Through non-linear storytelling, tales of gangsters, drug dealers and other (really f’ed up) people in the California valleys are told. John Travolta & Samuel L. Jackson are Vincent & Jules, two low level hitmen that chat about the metric system and proper foot massaging etiquette while on the way to a job. The results of said job lead to one contemplating the concept of “divine intervention”…and a bloody mess inside their car. Later, Vincent accompanies Mia (Uma Thurman), the wife of boss Marsellus Wallace (Ving Rhames), to a night on the town that (also) doesn’t go as planned. Prizefighter Butch Coolidge (Bruce Willis) defies Marsellus’ orders to take a dive during a big fight and attempts to get out of town with doe eyed girlfriend Fabienne (Maria de Medeiros). However, an unplanned retrieval of his priceless gold watch (which has an interesting back-story, to say the least) leads to more trouble than expected. And Pumpkin & Honey Bunny (Amanda Plummer & Tim Roth) plan the robbery of a local diner…and if you think that’s the end of that story, then you’re not catching the pattern.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
What’s wrong, TAM? You haven’t praised this movie enough already? Obvious kidding aside, Pulp Fiction is a classic not unlike The Godfather or Goodfellas in the sense that it never seemingly rings a false note or overstays its welcome. The main claim of its staying power resides in the fact that (at the time, since it’s been copied several times to no avail) Tarantino manages to craft a film that is totally like nothing ever put out before, despite using several tried and true conventions (try and imagine the film with a different soundtrack, for one). Its part New Wave crime drama, part dark comedy, part introspective work, part character study and part hard boiled mystery. Juggling so many hats would usually prove the fault of someone that has only directed their second film but it comes off so effortless here. A great thing about it is if you get confused by the film’s non-linear structure (which I have heard happen a few times), there’s so much that grabs you upon the first viewing that it’s a continuous treat to go back and keep picking stuff up. The much lauded non-linear framework is the flick’s greatest touch, as the majority of Tarantino’s menagerie of dissidents & miscreants have their heroic & honorable moments somewhere within the storyline; they become heroes through choice luck & leave antiheroes, even if the lesson may never be fully grasped (we, the viewer, don’t know if they’re truly changed people but lets not take that as code for “needing a sequel”.). Every character is memorable in some way, with Travolta & Jackson bringing Vincent & Jules to life and then some on screen. Sure, much of it is QT’s machine gun delivery-like dialogue but the two take the words and mold them into career performances (and, in both cases, career saving performances…though more Travolta’s in historical canon). Travolta adds little comedic nuances to many of his lines & actions and Jackson’s many “sermons on the mount” as Jules have taken on lives of their own. The Vincent/Jules segments are the meat of the film and include other odd turns from Eric Stoltz as a hippie drug dealer (“Heroin, it's coming back in a big fucking way.”) and Harvey Keitel as a more suave version of the Cleaner he briefly played in Point of No Return (“…pretty please... with sugar on top. Clean the fucking car.”). However, the “Gold Watch” segment proves to be a show stopper, with Willis delivering a solid homage to his usual “tough guy” image and Christopher Walken stopping by for a classic monologue (with one of the best non-verbal punchlines, ever! Gets me every time!). The segment’s shocking conclusion is what most likely got the film’s initial notoriety but that’s just one cherry on top of this multi-layered sundae. If there’s anything close to wrong with this film, its that QT makes another one of his glorious cameos…though its his film, so he has enough sense to only be on screen for three minutes tops. There’s so much more that could be said but I don’t go joy-poppin’ with bubble gummers, so I best leave this at “To be continued”.
Body Count/Violence: 8. Fiction has gotten a rep over the years as being incredulously violent and while it’s violent at times, it isn’t continuous & gratuitous in the vein of the same year’s On Deadly Ground (another similar argument can be used for the Tarantino-penned Natural Born Killers). When it does get violent, its scenes are sudden and usually belie the film’s darkly, comic tone. There are a few shootings, with two of them being particularly gory (and one leading to one of the film’s more hilarious exchanges). Along with the gunplay, there’s a car crash, swordplay, drug use (which leads to memorable use of a needle) and some fighting. In my opinion, the main reason people have focused on the flick’s carnage the most is because its realistic results are juxtaposed with a very “matter of fact” attitude toward the acts (i.e. the long, casual monologues before the apartment shooting, the entirety of “The Bonnie Situation”, etc.).
Sexuality/Nudity: The confrontation between Butch & Marsellus leads to the most uncomfortable of situations for one of them (and to spoil it for the few that have never seen the movie or heard about said sequence, would take away from the shock). There’s a scene of (implied) oral sex and de Medeiros’ panties are visible in one scene, as well as Willis’ lower regions when he gets out of the shower (partially obscured with a towel but hair is noticeable). Oh, and QT’s ever growing foot fetish gets more apparent in this film (I mean, Thurman’s a joy to look at in this film but her feet wouldn’t be my first choice. Personal preference, people).
Language/Dialogue: A plenty, as the F- bomb is dropped 265 times in 154 minutes (making that 1.7 times a minute). Other profanity is accompanied by plenty of sexual dialogue involving anatomy, “oral pleasure”, etc. More than a few racial slurs are used, which endeared QT to Spike Lee to this very day (though I am sure there are places in the South that are/were called “Dead N____er Storage”).
How bad was it?:
This was THE critic’s darling of 1994, as every reviewer praised it for its freshness & verve. It still maintains that status to this day (Rotten Tomato rating: 96%) though it has occasionally been soured upon since its inception brought about countless rip-offs & clones. Of course, the Academy spread its legs like the cheap whore that it is and gave the majority of Oscars that year to Forrest Gump (leaving the Best Original Screenplay award for Tarantino & Roger Avary) but let’s face facts: Fiction was the more original, wholly satisfying film. Zemeckis was just showing off & the Academy just loves them “mentally challenged” portrayals!
Did it make the studio’s day?:
After winning Cannes’ Palme D’Or in May of 1994, Pulp Fiction debuted in America on 10/14/94 under the Miramax banner. In a shocker at the time, it bested Stallone’s The Specialist for the top spot that weekend with $9.3 million (The Specialist was in its second week of release but it only dropped 38% from its first weekend peak & was expected to win out this time). The amazing thing is PF managed to do this while being in 1,184 screens less than The Specialist, almost doubling that film’s per screen average! With an $8 million budget (high by true Indy standards but still catering fodder for some Hollywood projects), Fiction stayed in the top 10 through Thanksgiving & ended its run in May of 1995 with a total gross of $108 million. Raking in another $106 million overseas, Pulp’s $214 million take was a monumental number for what was considered an Indy film (though you should read Peter Biskind’s Down & Dirty Pictures for that particular argument) and is still amazing for today’s standards.
Film: *****/*****
Entertainment value: *****/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
comes from the country of What (where they, in fact, speak Swahili).
Pulp Fiction
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
As with most likely millions of film geeks everywhere, Pulp Fiction was one of the seminal films of my cinematic upbringing. Sure, I watched films before. I was curious about them and wanted to know more about them. But, it took something like Quentin Tarantino’s neo-masterpiece to make me start reading about film; dissecting it and looking at it as more than a Sunday afternoon diversion. It isn’t the best film ever but its status as a cultural phenomenon has rarely been equaled in time.
However, Pulp didn’t completely change the landscape for the better. Like Nirvana did to Hair bands & All in the Family did to wholesome, family sitcoms, Pulp Fiction & its jut-jawed creator killed off the dominance of the Action film at the American box office. As mentioned on other sites, one of the main reasons people were so drawn to PF was that it was totally aware of the universe that it was cultivated from. When Jules Winnfield admits that his patented “Ezekiel 25:17” speech was “just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before you popped a cap in his ass”, he should definitely know it is…because QT lifted it straight from the Sonny Chiba vehicle The Bodyguard! Before, movie characters lived in their own universes and if things were said that you have heard hundreds of times before, it was never admitted and life went on. However, Tarantino eats, drinks, shits, pisses and sweats film daily and he was more than willing to let that show in his films. With that, his characters were quick to admit that Bronson & John Wayne were their inspirations in life. Pulp Fiction (and Tarantino’s earlier Reservoir Dogs) fully embraced all of the macho bullshit and camaraderie of Action films with a wink at the audience…and their straight-laced Action equivalents weren’t invited for the ride. Don’t believe me? Look at the drop-off of production from Hollywood’s elite Action stars after Pulp Fiction made itself known:
Seagal: Had a few more decent box office performances but soon fell into the direct-to-DVD trap, where he resides today.
Van Damme: see Seagal.
Bronson: Got old, did made-for-TV movies and died. Kind of depressing, so let’s move on.
Willis: Interestingly, this film was the catalyst of him becoming an actual actor, due to him taking a lesser role here after a string of box office disappointments. His mix of eclectic projects has kept him going.
Schwarzenegger: Managed to stay relevant through family comedies & effects laden Actioners. Was somehow deemed the least inept of hundreds of candidates to become Governor of a so-called “state”.
Stallone: Career went down the toilet and only came back over a decade later when he took his two most prized creations & updated them for the modern day.
Snipes: He isn’t Wesley Snipes anymore. If the IRS comes calling, say hello to Miguel Sanchez!
See, these guys either had to update themselves to stay on top or get run over along the way. People were tired of the usual “saving the world, no challenge involved” Action films that were becoming commonplace, so it was refreshing to see a genre film (in a sense, as it has many of the same elements) that had moments that were treated to be trivial as if it were an episode of Seinfeld. Simply put, Pulp Fiction was something fresh in an era that (many felt) was in need of tweaking. It is a little bittersweet that it seemingly took down many careers with it (ironic, considering it made & re-made its share of careers) but it’s not as if Action films ceased to exist afterwards. Many are pointing to a slight renaissance in the genre during the 2000s & even the much maligned direct-to-DVD market has its moments. And as for its inclusion here? Well, you can’t discuss Jesse James if you don’t bring up Robert Ford, right?
The Plot, as it was:
Through non-linear storytelling, tales of gangsters, drug dealers and other (really f’ed up) people in the California valleys are told. John Travolta & Samuel L. Jackson are Vincent & Jules, two low level hitmen that chat about the metric system and proper foot massaging etiquette while on the way to a job. The results of said job lead to one contemplating the concept of “divine intervention”…and a bloody mess inside their car. Later, Vincent accompanies Mia (Uma Thurman), the wife of boss Marsellus Wallace (Ving Rhames), to a night on the town that (also) doesn’t go as planned. Prizefighter Butch Coolidge (Bruce Willis) defies Marsellus’ orders to take a dive during a big fight and attempts to get out of town with doe eyed girlfriend Fabienne (Maria de Medeiros). However, an unplanned retrieval of his priceless gold watch (which has an interesting back-story, to say the least) leads to more trouble than expected. And Pumpkin & Honey Bunny (Amanda Plummer & Tim Roth) plan the robbery of a local diner…and if you think that’s the end of that story, then you’re not catching the pattern.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
What’s wrong, TAM? You haven’t praised this movie enough already? Obvious kidding aside, Pulp Fiction is a classic not unlike The Godfather or Goodfellas in the sense that it never seemingly rings a false note or overstays its welcome. The main claim of its staying power resides in the fact that (at the time, since it’s been copied several times to no avail) Tarantino manages to craft a film that is totally like nothing ever put out before, despite using several tried and true conventions (try and imagine the film with a different soundtrack, for one). Its part New Wave crime drama, part dark comedy, part introspective work, part character study and part hard boiled mystery. Juggling so many hats would usually prove the fault of someone that has only directed their second film but it comes off so effortless here. A great thing about it is if you get confused by the film’s non-linear structure (which I have heard happen a few times), there’s so much that grabs you upon the first viewing that it’s a continuous treat to go back and keep picking stuff up. The much lauded non-linear framework is the flick’s greatest touch, as the majority of Tarantino’s menagerie of dissidents & miscreants have their heroic & honorable moments somewhere within the storyline; they become heroes through choice luck & leave antiheroes, even if the lesson may never be fully grasped (we, the viewer, don’t know if they’re truly changed people but lets not take that as code for “needing a sequel”.). Every character is memorable in some way, with Travolta & Jackson bringing Vincent & Jules to life and then some on screen. Sure, much of it is QT’s machine gun delivery-like dialogue but the two take the words and mold them into career performances (and, in both cases, career saving performances…though more Travolta’s in historical canon). Travolta adds little comedic nuances to many of his lines & actions and Jackson’s many “sermons on the mount” as Jules have taken on lives of their own. The Vincent/Jules segments are the meat of the film and include other odd turns from Eric Stoltz as a hippie drug dealer (“Heroin, it's coming back in a big fucking way.”) and Harvey Keitel as a more suave version of the Cleaner he briefly played in Point of No Return (“…pretty please... with sugar on top. Clean the fucking car.”). However, the “Gold Watch” segment proves to be a show stopper, with Willis delivering a solid homage to his usual “tough guy” image and Christopher Walken stopping by for a classic monologue (with one of the best non-verbal punchlines, ever! Gets me every time!). The segment’s shocking conclusion is what most likely got the film’s initial notoriety but that’s just one cherry on top of this multi-layered sundae. If there’s anything close to wrong with this film, its that QT makes another one of his glorious cameos…though its his film, so he has enough sense to only be on screen for three minutes tops. There’s so much more that could be said but I don’t go joy-poppin’ with bubble gummers, so I best leave this at “To be continued”.
Body Count/Violence: 8. Fiction has gotten a rep over the years as being incredulously violent and while it’s violent at times, it isn’t continuous & gratuitous in the vein of the same year’s On Deadly Ground (another similar argument can be used for the Tarantino-penned Natural Born Killers). When it does get violent, its scenes are sudden and usually belie the film’s darkly, comic tone. There are a few shootings, with two of them being particularly gory (and one leading to one of the film’s more hilarious exchanges). Along with the gunplay, there’s a car crash, swordplay, drug use (which leads to memorable use of a needle) and some fighting. In my opinion, the main reason people have focused on the flick’s carnage the most is because its realistic results are juxtaposed with a very “matter of fact” attitude toward the acts (i.e. the long, casual monologues before the apartment shooting, the entirety of “The Bonnie Situation”, etc.).
Sexuality/Nudity: The confrontation between Butch & Marsellus leads to the most uncomfortable of situations for one of them (and to spoil it for the few that have never seen the movie or heard about said sequence, would take away from the shock). There’s a scene of (implied) oral sex and de Medeiros’ panties are visible in one scene, as well as Willis’ lower regions when he gets out of the shower (partially obscured with a towel but hair is noticeable). Oh, and QT’s ever growing foot fetish gets more apparent in this film (I mean, Thurman’s a joy to look at in this film but her feet wouldn’t be my first choice. Personal preference, people).
Language/Dialogue: A plenty, as the F- bomb is dropped 265 times in 154 minutes (making that 1.7 times a minute). Other profanity is accompanied by plenty of sexual dialogue involving anatomy, “oral pleasure”, etc. More than a few racial slurs are used, which endeared QT to Spike Lee to this very day (though I am sure there are places in the South that are/were called “Dead N____er Storage”).
How bad was it?:
This was THE critic’s darling of 1994, as every reviewer praised it for its freshness & verve. It still maintains that status to this day (Rotten Tomato rating: 96%) though it has occasionally been soured upon since its inception brought about countless rip-offs & clones. Of course, the Academy spread its legs like the cheap whore that it is and gave the majority of Oscars that year to Forrest Gump (leaving the Best Original Screenplay award for Tarantino & Roger Avary) but let’s face facts: Fiction was the more original, wholly satisfying film. Zemeckis was just showing off & the Academy just loves them “mentally challenged” portrayals!
Did it make the studio’s day?:
After winning Cannes’ Palme D’Or in May of 1994, Pulp Fiction debuted in America on 10/14/94 under the Miramax banner. In a shocker at the time, it bested Stallone’s The Specialist for the top spot that weekend with $9.3 million (The Specialist was in its second week of release but it only dropped 38% from its first weekend peak & was expected to win out this time). The amazing thing is PF managed to do this while being in 1,184 screens less than The Specialist, almost doubling that film’s per screen average! With an $8 million budget (high by true Indy standards but still catering fodder for some Hollywood projects), Fiction stayed in the top 10 through Thanksgiving & ended its run in May of 1995 with a total gross of $108 million. Raking in another $106 million overseas, Pulp’s $214 million take was a monumental number for what was considered an Indy film (though you should read Peter Biskind’s Down & Dirty Pictures for that particular argument) and is still amazing for today’s standards.
Film: *****/*****
Entertainment value: *****/*****
Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.
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